WASHINGTON, D.C. - As over 12,000 mostly Haitian migrants continue to crowd into makeshift camps under a bridge in Del Rio, Texas, many in Washington are coming to realize that the situation is untenable. With Congress back in session Monday, Nancy Pelosi said, "These poor people, many of them families with young children, are packed under this bridge in sweltering heat and squalid conditions. The solution is obvious: we need to build more bridges for them to live under."
Fortunately for House Democrats, as well as for the suffering migrants, the $1 trillion infrastructure bill currently before Congress includes spending for bridges. "All we need to do," Speaker Pelosi added, "is put in a little more money for a few additional bridges, and then the one in Del Rio won't be so overcrowded. We plan to add bridges in Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona where these voters, I mean hard working migrants, can go live."
A Democratic staffer, speaking off the record, explained: "Of course you need to understand that when we say 'bridges,' we may not mean 'bridges' in the traditional sense. Just as the word 'infrastructure' now means things like child care and health care, the word 'bridge' will now mean things like low-income housing developments. So, yeah, we're going to build some really nice bridges for these voters, I mean hard-working migrants."