Rumors about the controversial Project 2025 have been all over the news recently, but have you taken the time to learn what Project 2025 actually contains?
The Babylon Bee obtained the following list of the most nefarious and horrifying top-secret plans included in Project 2025:
Put Kid Rock's face on the 20-dollar bill: Destroying democracy AND defacing our currency.
Require all Skittles to be green apple flavor: Trump is truly a monster.
Make Democrats scrub the floor of the Capital while singing ‘It's a Hard Knock Life' while the Republicans chill like Miss Hannigan from Annie: Blatant partisan cruelty. It'll be like reliving the horrors of Jan 6 every day.
Mandate praying five times a day while facing Mar-a-Lago: Literal theocracy.
Eliminate 2,371 of the current 2,373 genders: Literal genocide.
Install the Fourth and Fifth Reichs: That's more Reichs than even Hitler installed.
Make another Toy Story sequel: Absolutely sickening.
Get rid of the Designated Hitter in the National League: Don't you remember what it was like when pitchers were at bat? It's an automatic out! Don't take us back to the dark ages.
Appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court: Those crazy conservatives are trying to pack the court.
Put Rian Johnson in charge of all Star Wars projects: Some things can be tolerated... but not this.
Force mostly peaceful protests to be completely peaceful protests: How can you protest without setting buildings on fire and destroying entire cities?
Ban abortion: Just kidding! You don't want to alienate too many potential voters.
Project 2025 really is even more nefariously dangerous than we thought. What have you heard is on the agenda for Project 2025? Tell everyone in the comments below!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
