It seems like every telecommunications company in the world has gone WOKE! Not good!
How can you call your spouse or leave a voicemail for your grandma without supporting a woke corporation? Here are 10 surefire methods:
- Carrier pigeon: We're pretty sure the pigeons haven't gone woke... yet.
- Use two cans and a string: Then maybe you can build a vast network of cans and strings! Just don't get them tangled.
- Fire your AR15 into the air in morse code: This is how people in Kentucky have communicated for centuries.
- Hollerin': Also the preferred method in Kentucky, for people too poor to own AR15s.
- Rearrange the wooden letter signs in Hobby Lobby to form a message: Then pray fervently that your intended target walks in and reads it before the workers rearrange the display.
- American Sign Language: Only visible from far away if you have big, beautiful Trump-sized hands.
- Ask a Navajo Indian to put your message in code and deliver it for you: Just make sure he isn't a fan of CRT.
- Beg Elon Musk to purchase your wireless provider: He'll unwokeify that corporation real quick! Until he changes his mind and backs out.
- Play the Telephone Game: Just like journalists at the Washington Post!
- Talk to all your friends exclusively on Truth Social: As long as you don't mind the FBI monitoring everything you say.
Well, there you have it! If none of these methods work, you could always start your own telecommunications company. Easy!
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Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.