7 Things You Probably Didn't Know About The REAL Saint Nick
Sponsored · Nov 22, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Revelation Media

Think Santa Claus is just some fictional character conjured up to take attention away from baby Jesus? WRONG! There was an actual Saint Nick who was present at the Council of Nicea in A.D. 325 and, according to legend, slapped the taste out of the mouth of some guy who was promoting heretical teaching. Awesome!

Want to know more? Here are 7 other things you probably didn't know about the real Saint Nick:

  1. He suffered from terrible rosacea: Those poor rosy, red cheeks and nose like a cherry!
  2. He trained as an MMA fighter before becoming fat and jolly: This training proved to come in handy when encountering heretics.
  3. Ironically, he confessed on his deathbed that his favorite holiday was Arbor Day: Now you finally know why we put trees in our homes at Christmas!
  4. Employed a staff of merry midgets: Santa's original "little helpers" and the origin of the elf legends.
  5. He invented the candy cane for the purpose of caning heretics: Consequences were tougher back then for winding up on the "naughty list".
  6. Saint Nick's battle at the Council of Nicea was about whether Die Hard was a Christmas movie: Welcome to the party, Arius.
  7. He actually died years ago and was replaced by Tim Allen: The original Saint Nick fell off a roof, poor guy! There's a whole documentary about it called The Santa Clause.

Who knew, right? There's a lot more to jolly old Saint Nick than meets the eye!

NOT SATIRE: Help Bring "The Real Story: St. Nicholas" to Life

After inheriting his parents' wealth and encountering God in Jerusalem, St. Nicholas committed to giving all his money to the poor. He realized that Jesus was born poor but offered the greatest treasure of all: eternal life. While the world has commercialized a character named Santa Claus, the true story behind the myth is an amazing example of self-sacrifice and faith in Jesus.

Our friends at RealSTUDIOS have embarked on making a short film about St. Nicholas. They are currently in production and have launched a Kickstarter campaign to help raise funds to finish the film. This Christmas, discover the true story of the life of St. Nicholas. Join the Kickstarter campaign to be a part of bringing this important story to the world this Christmas!

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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