9 Things Men Will Do Instead Of Going To Therapy
Lifestyle · May 3, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Our effeminate culture keeps trying to push men to talk about their feelings and go to something lame-sounding called "therapy". While this might work for today's beta male, old-school, 100% genuine REAL men have better ways of overcoming challenges in their lives.

Here are 9 much more effective methods to dealing with your problems than lame ol' sissy therapy.

  1. Take a few whacks at the batting cages: Recent studies have shown swinging for the fences is more therapeutic than talking about your feelings.
  2. Play a 7-hour game of Axis & Allies with the fellas: Push the pain deep down inside and make the blitz toward Moscow.
  3. Sip a beer and watch a sunset while commenting on the foliage: "Them junipers are comin' in niiice and green, eh, Lenny?"
  4. Stuff it all down in a dark little ball inside: The tried-and-true therapy of our ancestors.
  5. Pick up something heavy: Repeat a bunch of times. Grunt. Sweat. Then pick up more heavy things.
  6. Go on a quick trip to the gun range: As you sight in your rifle on the bullseye, you'll really be sighting in on your heart.
  7. Demolish a countertop: It's time for a "demo day" - of your problems.
  8. Buy a social media company and then launch the largest rocket of all time into space: Soothe the inner voices, whatever it takes.
  9. Look up at a passing helicopter: It really makes everything OK.

We hope this helps you go another week without all that "talking about your feelings" nonsense – see you at the gun range, golf course, or on the barbells.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

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