After Trump's executive order that banned castrating kids, America's gender surgeons have suddenly found themselves out of a job. Sad!
Despite our differences with them, we at the Babylon Bee have graciously compiled a list of perfect landing spots for newly unemployed gender surgeons:
Pickle slicer at a deli: Because, you know.
Person who takes peanuts out of their shells at the factory: An easy transition.
Mohel: You wouldn't get to cut off the whole thing, but it's better than nothing.
Swashbuckler: Take other people's property and chop off a part of them as you do!
Sushi Chef: Trade that scalpel for a Sashimi knife.
Travel back in time to when eunuchs were popular and be the guy who does the eunuch-making: It's perfect.
Serial killer: Really it's the same job, you just do it faster.
Pants tailor: You can't actually cut people's junk, but at least you can get your knife really close.
Hostage torturer: We hear Hezbollah is hiring - you can still have a pager and everything.
Surgeon who performs ethical, medically necessary procedures: A bit of a stretch.
The job market for gender surgeons may have dried up, but there are still plenty of careers for these cutters. Good luck!
After a slight mixup, Steve, Timpani, and Britunni end up at the Alamo instead of the Alamo Car Rental. Protestors block their way out and Timpani is going into labor!
