After Trump's executive order that banned castrating kids, America's gender surgeons have suddenly found themselves out of a job. Sad!
Despite our differences with them, we at the Babylon Bee have graciously compiled a list of perfect landing spots for newly unemployed gender surgeons:
Pickle slicer at a deli: Because, you know.
Person who takes peanuts out of their shells at the factory: An easy transition.
Mohel: You wouldn't get to cut off the whole thing, but it's better than nothing.
Swashbuckler: Take other people's property and chop off a part of them as you do!
Sushi Chef: Trade that scalpel for a Sashimi knife.
Travel back in time to when eunuchs were popular and be the guy who does the eunuch-making: It's perfect.
Serial killer: Really it's the same job, you just do it faster.
Pants tailor: You can't actually cut people's junk, but at least you can get your knife really close.
Hostage torturer: We hear Hezbollah is hiring - you can still have a pager and everything.
Surgeon who performs ethical, medically necessary procedures: A bit of a stretch.
The job market for gender surgeons may have dried up, but there are still plenty of careers for these cutters. Good luck!
Travis is back on his mission to interview everyone. Next on the list is celebrity chef and restaurateur Andrew Gruel.
