The American healthcare system can be a confusing thing. To help lift some of the mystique around the world's greatest healthcare system, we forced our army of unpaid interns to conduct over 3000 hours of intense research and record everything they found. Here are the most interesting facts we bet you didn't know. You're welcome!
- According to our research, the American healthcare system was founded by Bob Healthcare in 1776.
- Initially, the American healthcare system consisted of just a guy telling you to "stop being such a sissy" whenever you complained about pain.
- For a while, they used leeches in healthcare, but that practice ended after all the leeches moved to D.C.
- In a fight between healthcare and Aquaman, Aquaman would become bankrupt and have his giant seahorses repossessed.
- Most hospitals now allow you to pay with cash or credit, but some new and innovative hospitals allow you to pay with your firstborn.
- Flintstones Tablets can cure anything, but the government just doesn't want you to know.
- Most doctors require an x-ray machine to see your skeleton but the really experienced doctors can do it with only their eyes.
- Doctors have to eat two dozen popsicles a day to get all their tongue depressors.
- 3 weeks after you receive care at a hospital, the billing office will just send you five random bills from their giant stack of bills.
- The first known healthcare plan in history originated in the early church when all the Christians in Jerusalem pitched in to help Paul take care of that nasty thorn in his flesh.
Congratulations! We think that's pretty much everything there is to know! Be sure to share this knowledge with a friend. It may save a life.