Jen Psaki held a press conference yesterday where she revealed the Biden administration's plan to reach out to dumb redneck conservatives to get them to take the vaccine. She had many great ideas for getting these backward hicks to get the jab.
Here are her ten great ideas:
1. Line the insides of all MAGA hats with needles - When they put on their MAGA hat while getting ready for work or a fancy dinner, bam! They're vaccinated!
2. Introduce a ranch-flavored vaccine - White hicks can't resist some delicious Hidden Valley.
3. Run a promotion offering free AR-15s with each vaccination - Jen clarified, of course, that the AR-15s would be confiscated shortly after.
4. Have Florida-Georgia Line write a song where they drive down a dirt road with a girl all up in their truck to go get the vaccine - It will surely top the Billboard charts in the Bible Belt. It's like "We Are the World" but for the vaccine.
5. Tell them not getting the vaccine is gay - Super gay.
6. Make vaccines mandatory for entrance into Cracker Barrel - Hit 'em where it hurts.
7. Disguise it as Keystone Light - They'll think they're throwing back some delicious American lager while they're really getting microchips implanted in their brains.
8. Get some Hollywood actors to explain how it's a great thing to do - Works every time.
9. Interrupt Duck Dynasty reruns with a pro-vaccine message from the true president, Donald Trump - Maybe her best idea.
10. Tell them vaccines are proven to lift their trucks an additional seven feet - If your truck remains lifted for 4-6 hours, consult a mechanic.
Great ideas, Jen!
