10 Crimes You Can Be Executed For In Texas
Crime · Apr 13, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

The strong arm of the law works a little differently in the Lone Star State, where asking for mild salsa is grounds for arrest (and for a good whuppin'). Here are ten crimes that you can actually be executed for in the great State of Texas:

  1. Forgetting The Alamo: Straight to the electric chair.
  2. Saying "you all" instead of "y'all": Texans don't take kindly to such commie nonsense.
  3. Stopping for gas anywhere other than Buc-ee's: The legal definition in Texas of criminal insanity.
  4. Owning a vehicle with no truck bed and no dog in truck bed: Also, if the dog is one of those small, yappy dogs.
  5. Driving carefully in the rain: Right to death row.
  6. Failing to bow your head when a George Strait song comes on the radio: Show some respect!
  7. Saying, "No thanks, I don't feel like tacos tonight": Firing squad, immediately.
  8. Forgetting the lyrics to "Deep In The Heart Of Texas": No trial necessary.
  9. Refusing to acknowledge the superiority of Whataburger over all other fine-dining establishments: No Michelin chef can compete with a Double Meat Whataburger with cheese!
  10. Messing with Texas: You can't say you weren't warned.

There you have it - the law of the land in the greatest state/nation on earth. God bless Texas!


BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:

Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now