Using biblical names used to be an easy way to prove to your friends and neighbors that you were a godly parent. Nowadays if you name your son Ezra or even Ezekiel, nobody assumes you have ever even read the Bible. For all they know, maybe you just watch a lot of sci-fi. These days, if you want your kid’s name to scream “mom and dad sure know the Scriptures” you need to dig a little deeper.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to actually read your Bible. The Bee has done the dirty work and gone digging for you. We’ve searched the Bible for the most unique and untapped biblical names available. These monikers are both proof that you are on fire for Jesus and also they’re just totally awesome. When you drop your kids off at the nursery they won’t be “another Caleb” or “the 27th Methuselah on the sign-in sheet.” They’ll be 100% O.G. and straight out of the Bible.
Here they are: the top ten baby name ideas for your special little angel, straight from the pages of Scripture.
Second Peter – “Peter” is passe. Go with “Second Peter” to show you know your Bible inside and out.
Ham – Delicious lunch meat and biblical name in one. Ham is a no-brainer.
Nimrod – We’re gonna be honest—this is a terrible name. But you get to call your kid “Nimrod” when he’s acting up and no one can judge you!
Legion – A great name for a child with a rainbow of different emotions.
Dodo – There is no good reason for the lack of believers named Dodo, especially since it’s a name mentioned numerous times in the Bible. Be part of the solution.
Judas But Not The Bad One – Judas was a perfectly respectable name until that Iscariot guy ruined it for the rest of us. Go ahead and name your kid Judas, but make sure to specifically state he’s Judas But Not The Bad One right on the birth certificate.
King James – His name’s right on the cover of any real Bible, but you’d be surprised how few people actually name their newborn sons King James. It’s a fine name, and it lets people know that you’re serious about reading the Bible in its original 1611 incarnation.
Demon Pig – Name your child Demon Pig if you want people to know you love Jesus not just when he’s cuddly and sweet, but even when he does crazy stuff like casts demons into pigs, turning them suicidal.
Abaddon The Destroyer – Don’t go with a wimpy name like “Jordan” or “Malachi.” You want people to know your son is not to be trifled with. A name like Abaddon The Destroyer is perfect for your little bundle of joy.
#Blessed – Jesus used the word “blessed” all the time, did he not? If you want to ensure your child is truly blessed, you have to name him or her HASHTAG BLESSED. It’s literally foolproof.
Pick any of these ten names, and your kid is sure to be the center of attention at Sunday School each week!
Bonus! Want to be even more obscure? Try some of these:
Lamentations (or Lamentiatina for girls)
Maps Of The Holy Land
Literal Worldwide Flood
Having twins, triplets or quintuplets? Try these:
Den of Vipers
Sackcloth and Ashes
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego
Sons of Thunder
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