U.S. — President Donald Trump has officially beaten yet another woman, remaining undefeated against women.
"Another woman, totally beaten," said Trump. "They keep bringing women and I keep beating them. Not like Doug! What a terrible guy. So sad, what he did in Paris. Keep a high guard tonight, Kamala!"
At publishing time, President Trump had announced that he had beaten a third woman, Tim Walz.
Babylon Bee subscriber Mark Syrios contributed to this report.
If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
