INDIANAPOLIS, IN — WNBA star Caitlin Clark put up an historic triple-double last night, suffering 10 fractures, 11 concussions, and over a dozen teeth knocked out.
"I was really feeling it tonight," Clark said in a brief courtside interview after the game before collapsing.
Fans gave a standing ovation for Clark as medical personnel ran to her aid. After Clark reached four broken bones and two missing incisors in the first quarter, Indiana Fever coach Stephanie White knew it could be a record-setting night.
"This was a performance for the ages," said White as paramedics worked to stabilize an unconscious Clark. "The way Caitlin keeps playing after getting her orbital bones fractured in several places, it's really impressive. I thought she might come up just short of the triple-double when we got down to three minutes left and she only had eight concussions. Then four enormous lesbians punched Caitlin repeatedly in the head for the next couple of minutes, and I knew she'd done it."
Clark's opponents marveled at her performance, stating that as they beat her senseless, they knew they were in the presence of greatness. "There was this moment when my teammate had Caitlin pinned down, and I was kicking her in the kidneys — I realized we could be in for a special night," said opposing guard Macy Darnell. "We just kept elbowing her in the teeth, and little by little, we started to believe this kind of historic performance was possible. A huge congratulations to Caitlin. Next round of dentures is on me."
At publishing time, WNBA officials were wondering why ticket sales for upcoming games were so low with Clark in the hospital.
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