DALLAS, TX — Southwest Airlines, with a positive reputation for supporting plus-size travelers, has taken a big step in providing robust support for its largest customers. Starting this week, fliers of size will be given a complimentary bed of hay and a feeding trough.

Salt licks will be available to its corpulent flyers for a nominal fee.

"At Southwest Airlines, we value the Twinkie-divergent and the Cheetos-adjacent," said a spokesperson for the airline, "Which is why we now offer free upgrades to the corral section with a cozy bed of hay and feeding trough for passengers with slim-defiant bodies."

The free upgrade, which sits near the back of the cargo hold, will include a crane service to hoist the metabolically deficient customers into their pens through a massive door in the roof of the plane.

At publishing time, members of the blubber-attracted community had vowed to boycott Southwest until every plane was retrofitted with an infinite donut dispenser.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.