WASHINGTON, D.C. — While appearing at a White House press briefing on Tuesday, President Donald Trump revealed that he had been mistaken and was actually thinking of Iceland this whole time.
For the past year, and increasingly over the last few weeks, Trump had been raising the temperature of rhetoric regarding the U.S. seeking to acquire Greenland. During a daily briefing with top advisors, however, he realized it was Iceland he had in mind.
"Totally different place, from what I'm hearing," Trump told reporters. "Greenland is covered in ice. Iceland is green. It's actually very confusing the way they've done it, you know, very sad, the way these Europeans name their countries. Can you believe it? Makes no sense. That's why we have to go take Greenland. Or Iceland. One of them. Whichever one of them is the good one."
Greenlanders breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing the news of the misunderstanding. "That makes a lot more sense," said Greenlander Malik Thomassen. "We were all confused when he started talking about wanting Greenland. I mean, look around here. Who would want this? Iceland, on the other hand, is very nice. It's beautiful there. I'm from Greenland, and I would rather have Iceland. But it's an easy mistake to make. We're right next to each other. And the names. The names are backwards."
According to White House sources, Trump had immediately ordered all focus to shift toward Iceland. "They showed me a picture," he said. "We don't want Greenland anymore, believe me."
At publishing time, Trump had reportedly asked his staff to double-check to make sure he meant Iceland and not Ireland.
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