NEW YORK, NY — NBC's termination of its newly hired political analyst was put on hold today as, in a last-ditch attempt to save her job, Ronna McDaniel got a super lesbian haircut.

"I'm pulling out all the stops," said McDaniel as she carefully tousled her hair into maximally-butch position. "Oh yeah -- that's the look!"

With the network's other prominent female personalities all sporting butch hairstyles, McDaniel desperately sought out a stylist with a last-minute opening to help her fit in with her potential colleagues. "Give me the Rachel Maddow!" McDaniel was heard shouting as she burst into a local hairdresser's shop. "I need you to make me look like I drive a Subaru and listen to Melissa Etheridge all day long! Quick! This is my only chance to keep this job!"

Despite just being hired last week, McDaniel faced swift dismissal from her new position following vocal complaints lodged by other NBC on-air talent. "Who does she think she is coming in here with her hair down to her shoulders?" asked Joy Reid. "It's bad enough that she's white and doesn't agree with me politically, now you're expecting me to work with some woman who doesn't have a bowl cut?! Uh-uh!"

At publishing time, McDaniel had reportedly been overcome by an overwhelming urge to buy Birkenstock sandals and go hang out at the zoo.