SESAME STREET — With the nationwide migrant crisis continuing to make headlines and cause intense debate among lawmakers, a disturbing new report confirmed beloved local resident Elmo had been radicalized after migrants were bused to Sesame Street.
Witnesses reported noticing a marked change in Elmo's worldview over the last several weeks, as bus after bus rolled down Sesame Street before coming to a stop and opening its door to allow scores of illegal migrants to pour out into Elmo's beloved neighborhood.
"Elmo can't believe this. Elmo has had enough!" the furry red creature was heard saying as he watched yet another busload of foreign nationals arrive outside his home from the southern U.S. border. "Why are they bringing them here? This isn't right! They are committing crimes and making Sesame Street a scary, scary place to live! Elmo demands an explanation! Elmo is tired of this invasion of Elmo's country!"
Other residents also expressed concern with the repeated waves of migrant arrivals. "One thousand, three hundred, forty-five! Ah-ah-ah! One thousand, three hundred, forty-six! Ah-ah-ah!" The Count could be heard saying as he kept a running tally of the number of migrants that have arrived on Sesame Street. Though Oscar the Grouch was not in a happy mood, he did express relief that he would no longer be the only one blamed for the trash and general state of decay that would soon overtake the previously clean neighborhood.
Other local residents grew most concerned after Elmo appeared wearing a red "Make America Great Again" baseball cap. "This has pushed him over the edge," said Big Bird. "He was always a moderate before, but he's definitely been radicalized now."
At publishing time, Kermit the Frog had been detained by government agents for attempting to give a news report on the migrant crisis.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.