The Babylon Bee
Scripture
· Oct 9, 2026
· 26
Jesus Tells Parable Of The Wise Servant Who Invested In Pokémon Cards
JERUSALEM - While overlooking the Temple from the Mount of Olives, the one called Jesus reportedly shared with His disciples a new teaching called the...
Politics
· Oct 9, 2026
· 25
Democrat Strategists Remove James Talarico From Campaign Trail To Hide The Fact That He's James Talarico
AUSTIN, TX - Senate candidate James Talarico suddenly disappeared from the campaign trail last week after Democratic strategists realized that he is J...
Latest
Buzzing
U.S.
· Oct 8, 2026
· 41
Experts Fear Terrorist Activity In Minneapolis Could Spread To America Next
U.S. - After a terrorist attack on the Mall of America was narrowly thwarted yesterday, experts warned that terrorist activity could spread beyond Min...
World
· Oct 6, 2026
· 119
Palestinians Finally Granted Own Country
PARIS - At long last, the Palestinian people finally have a land to truly call their own.
Politics
· Oct 7, 2026
· 51
Mamdani's October 7th Address Derailed As Wife's Party Balloons Keep Floating Across Screen
NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani attempted to deliver a solemn address to mark the anniversary of October 7th, but was derailed as his wife's party...
World
· Oct 8, 2026
· 57
French Frantically Search Rioting Mob For Someone To Surrender To
PARIS - French leaders came up empty-handed on Thursday after spending several days searching for someone in the rioting mob to surrender to.
Must Read
U.S.
· Oct 5, 2026
· 161
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Indiana
Looking to move to a new state? Look no further than Indiana! There are plenty of reasons to move there. Seriously.
Worldviews
· Oct 7, 2026
· 44
Liberals Prepare For Anniversary Of October 8, The Day Israel Attacked Gaza For No Reason
NEW YORK, NY - Liberals around the country prepared to commemorate the anniversary of October eighth, the day Israel attacked Gaza completely unprovok...
Crime
· Oct 6, 2026
· 66
9 Crimes Pete Hegseth Just Declared Worthy Of Death Penalty
The Pentagon officially approved execution by firing squad for the Fort Hood shooter, but that's not the only crime the military is seeking the death ...
U.S.
· Oct 7, 2026
· 74
Nation Saddened To Learn Iran May Not Actually Nuke LA
U.S. - The nation has reportedly slipped into a period of deep sadness and introspection after learning that Iran may not actually nuke Los Angeles.
Don't Miss
Premium Content
Premium
· Oct 9, 2026
· 16
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | October 9, 2026
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week -- and to save our dear readers from the dread...
Premium
· Oct 8, 2026
· 60
Dad Commits Harakiri In Shame After Not Mowing Lawn Lines Perfectly Straight
This bonus article is for you, our valued subscribers. Enjoy!
Premium
· Oct 6, 2026
· 145
Will Your Favorite Animal Go To Heaven Or Hell? A Handy Guide
Here is a bonus article for all you Babylon Bee subscribers.
Premium
· Oct 5, 2026
· 67
How Was Church? Ladder Edition
It's Monday, and you know what that means! The almost obligatory "How Was Church?" post. How was your Lord's Day service? Did your pastor use any ladd...
Greatest Hits
All News
