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Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called 'Smoking Cigarettes' - Article image
Lifestyle · May 16, 2026 · 50
Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called 'Smoking Cigarettes'

U.S. - Teenagers across the nation are discovering a hip new alternative to vaping, called "smoking cigarettes."

Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone - Article image
Lifestyle · May 16, 2026 · 35
Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone

TUCSON, AZ - Local man Dale Swanson declined to have his double scoops of mint chocolate chip and strawberry ice cream served in a delicious waffle co...

'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible' - Article image
Media · May 15, 2026 · 69
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'

NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...
Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws
Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws
Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws - Featured article image
Media · May 16, 2026 · 73

U.S. - The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm regulations in the United ...

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time - Article image
Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 73
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...

Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 73
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time - Featured article image
U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible' - Article image
Media · May 15, 2026 · 69
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'

NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...

Subscriber Headlines

AI Fears It Will Soon Lose Job To Marco Rubio

May 5, 2026 | Brrrt Reynolds


Mom Overcome With Guilt For Only Feeding, Clothing, Educating Kids Today

May 8, 2026 | Murf


“And How Did This Quarter Get Behind Your Ear?” Asks Moses To Pharaoh’s Stunned Magicians

May 14, 2026 | BrotherTim

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Lakewood Church To Be Renamed 'DraftKings Arena' Following Branding Deal - Article image
Lakewood Church To Be Renamed 'DraftKings Arena' Following Branding Deal
Church · May 15, 2026 · 50
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal - Article image
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal
Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 42
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs - Article image
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs
Life · May 15, 2026 · 72
Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out - Article image
Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out
Sports · May 15, 2026 · 40
Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name - Article image
Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name
Politics · May 14, 2026 · 43
Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using IPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games - Article image
Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using IPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games
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Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive - Article image
Politics · May 14, 2026 · 60
Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive

BEIJING - President Donald Trump's meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping was going swimmingly until Trump made a crucial (but common) error: gifti...
Report: CIA Raided By CIA - Article image
U.S. · May 15, 2026 · 37
Report: CIA Raided By CIA

LANGLEY, VA - Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the Central Intelli...
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running - Article image
Life · May 14, 2026 · 74
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running

TEMPE, AZ - After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family's Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry Ricks admitted that he has absolutely no clu...
Millennial Figures Out How To Use '6-7,' Signaling The End Of The Fad - Article image
Culture · May 15, 2026 · 53
Millennial Figures Out How To Use '6-7,' Signaling The End Of The Fad

FT. WORTH, TX - Local millennial Chad McCallister finally figured out how to appropriately use "6-7" in casual conversation, thus effectively ending t...

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The NYTimes Reveals: 7 More Shocking Things Israel Has Trained Animals To Do - Article image
Sponsored · May 13, 2026 · 59
The NYTimes Reveals: 7 More Shocking Things Israel Has Trained Animals To Do

As you may have heard, The New York Times revealed this week that Israel has a secret animal training program that literally teaches dogs how to water...
BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said 'I'm Fine' - Article image
Family · May 13, 2026 · 115
BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said 'I'm Fine'

AKRON, OH - Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge of a frown as she kept glancing at him, a...
Man Helpfully Points Out To Wife That She Looks Tired - Article image
Family · May 14, 2026 · 48
Man Helpfully Points Out To Wife That She Looks Tired

TOPEKA, KS - Local hero Greg Miller was praised this week for his keen observation skills after courageously informing his wife, Sarah, that she looke...
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women - Article image
Media · May 12, 2026 · 105
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women

U.S. - Longtime daytime talk show "The View" has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of angry middle-aged women.

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Clever: Jews Charging Up Space Laser Tell Everyone Those Are Just The Northern Lights - Article image
Science · May 11, 2024 · 124
Clever: Jews Charging Up Space Laser Tell Everyone Those Are Just The Northern Lights

JERUSALEM - A spokesman for the Israeli military confirmed yesterday that the colorful lights seen over most of the northern hemisphere were a complet...
Fire Survivors Drive Back Toward Flames After Hearing Kamala Speak - Article image
Fire Survivors Drive Back Toward Flames After Hearing Kamala Speak
U.S. · Jan 22, 2025 · 75
Embarrassing Mix-up As Joseph Wears Coat Of Many Colors During Pride Month Again - Article image
Embarrassing Mix-up As Joseph Wears Coat Of Many Colors During Pride Month Again
Scripture · May 25, 2022 · 70
Tim Walz Clarifies That He Is Not Stealing Valor, Just Redistributing It - Article image
Tim Walz Clarifies That He Is Not Stealing Valor, Just Redistributing It
Politics · Aug 12, 2024 · 101
Kenneth Copeland Assures Crowd That 100% Of Offering Proceeds Will Go Directly To Kenneth Copeland - Article image
Kenneth Copeland Assures Crowd That 100% Of Offering Proceeds Will Go Directly To Kenneth Copeland
Celebs · Aug 18, 2017 · 8
Church Security Catches Cheater Trying To Copy Sermon Notes - Article image
Church Security Catches Cheater Trying To Copy Sermon Notes
Church · Jun 5, 2017 · 7
Scholars Now Agree Pontius Pilate Didn't Wash His Hands Long Enough To Avoid Responsibility For Crucifixion - Article image
Scholars Now Agree Pontius Pilate Didn't Wash His Hands Long Enough To Avoid Responsibility For Crucifixion
Scripture · Mar 30, 2020 · 10

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Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition - Article image
Premium · May 5, 2026 · 44
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition

Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees - Article image
Premium · Apr 28, 2026 · 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees

Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 37
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...

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Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents - Article image
Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents
U.S. · Sep 3, 2019 · 12
As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts - Article image
As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts
Politics · Jan 8, 2020 · 10
Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You When You Step On Them - Article image
Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You When You Step On Them
World · Jun 7, 2018 · 32
Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack - Article image
Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack
Health · Jun 17, 2020 · 115
Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics - Article image
Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics
Sports · Jun 21, 2021 · 217
Brilliant Trump Puts Himself On All Postage Stamps, Forcing Democrats To Push For Abolishing USPS - Article image
Brilliant Trump Puts Himself On All Postage Stamps, Forcing Democrats To Push For Abolishing USPS
Politics · Aug 17, 2020 · 113

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