OKLAHOMA CITY, OK—Local mom and diamond-level assistant regional manager for an essential oils company Cindy Kyle has more crosses on her wall than the number of actual crucifixions that were carried out by the Romans.
Kyle has hundreds of thousands of turquoise crosses, wooden crosses, metal crosses, crosses with Scriptures, and crosses with the "Footprints in the Sand" poem.
"While the Romans crucified tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands of people, Kyle has around a quarter-million wall crosses, putting her safely in the lead," said one historian as he examined one of the woman's rare crosses with Alan Jackson lyrics inscribed. "It's incredible. We've never seen this many crosses, even when we examined the Appian Way, where thousands of slaves were crucified in one day."
Her home will be preserved as a historical site, and researchers hope to learn more about crosses and the ancient practice of crucifixion by examining the thousands of bejeweled and bedazzled crosses on her walls.
According to sources close the family, friends and visitors are sometimes "a little freaked out" by the fact that she has thousands of torture and execution devices hanging from her walls.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.