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Man Returns To Work From Long Weekend Refreshed And Ready To Give Mediocre Effort - Article image
Life · Sep 8, 2026 · 32
Man Returns To Work From Long Weekend Refreshed And Ready To Give Mediocre Effort

ROME, GA - After a long holiday weekend, local man Kevin Simpson returned to his office at River City Bank this morning, refreshed and ready to give a...

Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped - Article image
Scripture · Sep 8, 2026
Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped

PHILIPPI - According to sources, the disciples at Lydia's house were shocked to see that Paul had returned from prison covered in tattoos and "totally...

God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors - Article image
U.S. · Sep 8, 2026 · 31
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors

BOSTON, MA - A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent resid...
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave - Featured article image
Politics · Sep 8, 2026 · 43

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the U.S. Congress prepared to return to work next week, one major lingering question was answered as the Senate approved a reque...

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Article image
Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 69
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...

Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 69
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Featured article image
JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors - Article image
U.S. · Sep 8, 2026 · 31
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors

BOSTON, MA - A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent resid...

Subscriber Headlines

Life Hack: Man Names New Dog ‘vop-3Zeq-nuv’ So He Can Remember His Password

Sep 8, 2026 | T e e j


'Grand Theft Auto' Maker Rockstar Games Sues California For Stealing Their Idea Of Open-World Crime And Chaos

Aug 28, 2026 | TwoDegreesOff


Spain To Deport Citizens Protesting Illegal Immigration

Sep 3, 2026 | AmirFauda

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California Teen Flunks Driver's License Test For Fully Stopping At Stop Sign - Article image
California Teen Flunks Driver's License Test For Fully Stopping At Stop Sign
Life · Sep 7, 2026 · 83
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God - Article image
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Theology · Sep 5, 2026 · 99
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut - Article image
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut
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Breakthrough As Scientists At University Of Michigan Develop Ability To Travel Back In Time One Second - Article image
Sports · Sep 6, 2026 · 88
Breakthrough As Scientists At University Of Michigan Develop Ability To Travel Back In Time One Second

ANN ARBOR - In one of the most remarkable technological breakthroughs of the past millennium, scientists at the University of Michigan have successful...
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad - Article image
U.S. · Sep 7, 2026 · 84
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad

U.S. - Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, pro...
Controversy In Michigan Tarnishes NCAA’s Otherwise Perfect Reputation - Article image
Sports · Sep 6, 2026 · 43
Controversy In Michigan Tarnishes NCAA’s Otherwise Perfect Reputation

ANN ARBOR, MI - A highly controversial ending at Michigan Stadium has unfortunately put a slight black eye on the NCAA's otherwise sterling reputation...
Women Honor Gloria Steinem By Leaving Kids At Daycare And Working 9 Hours At Jobs They Hate - Article image
Worldviews · Sep 7, 2026 · 61
Women Honor Gloria Steinem By Leaving Kids At Daycare And Working 9 Hours At Jobs They Hate

U.S. - Women across America honored the passing of feminist icon Gloria Steinem by dropping their kids off at daycare and heading to work for 9 hours ...

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State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity - Article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 98
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity

U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang - Article image
The Bee Explains · Sep 2, 2026 · 193
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang

Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans - Article image
Sports · Sep 4, 2026 · 53
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and w...
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance - Article image
Politics · Sep 4, 2026 · 70
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance

NEW YORK, NY - New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparatio...

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Trump Campaign Demands Stimulus Of 8 Million Votes - Article image
Politics · Dec 23, 2020 · 33
Trump Campaign Demands Stimulus Of 8 Million Votes

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congress has sent a stimulus bill to President Donald Trump to sign, but Trump has denounced the bill as "inadequate." Trump is now...
George Soros Vows To Lead Migrant Caravan Into Promised Land - Article image
George Soros Vows To Lead Migrant Caravan Into Promised Land
Politics · Oct 22, 2018 · 15
Local Man's Friends Hear That He's A Jesus Freak, Treat Him The Same - Article image
Local Man's Friends Hear That He's A Jesus Freak, Treat Him The Same
Christian Living · Mar 19, 2018 · 7
Hallmark Channel Announces 19 New Coronavirus-Themed Movies - Article image
Hallmark Channel Announces 19 New Coronavirus-Themed Movies
Entertainment · Mar 27, 2020 · 12
Nation's Murderous Psychopaths Undecided On Whether They’ll Follow New Gun Laws - Article image
Nation's Murderous Psychopaths Undecided On Whether They’ll Follow New Gun Laws
Politics · Sep 16, 2019 · 11
Young Parachurch Missionary Learns ‘Exegesis’ Not The Same As ‘Extra Jesus’ - Article image
Young Parachurch Missionary Learns ‘Exegesis’ Not The Same As ‘Extra Jesus’
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New Evidence Suggests Early Christians Wore Favorite NFL Jerseys To Church Every Sunday - Article image
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Happy Labor Day 2026! - Article image
Premium · Sep 7, 2026 · 83
Happy Labor Day 2026!

Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...

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Panic Erupts On Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
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In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose - Article image
In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose
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CDC Now Recommends Wearing A Seat Belt Even When You’re Outside The Car - Article image
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