U.S. - Vowing to uphold the organization's commitment to kill babies "no matter what," Planned Parenthood announced they'll be offering drive-thru abortions throughout the nationwide lockdown.
Following the lead of other organizations offering touchless interactions and socially distanced transactions, Planned Parenthood will let women access the convenient new drive-thru facilities throughout the quarantine. PP leaders were reportedly worried that the lockdown would lead to fewer preborn baby deaths and so came up with the new, innovative way to encourage more abortions during this crisis.
"Essential business must continue, and what's more essential than the death of the unborn?" said a PP spokesperson in a video posted to the organization's Facebook page. "Now you can come to exercise your constitutional right to end your child's life from the safety of your vehicle."
"Sorry, did I say end your child's life? I meant 'access quality women's healthcare.'"