The Babylon Bee
Family
· Sep 18, 2026
Man Prepares To Perform Self-Lobotomy With Cereal Spoon After Daughter Discovers 'Blippi'
COLUMBUS, OH - Local man Greg Gentry reportedly spent Friday morning mentally and physically preparing to perform a lobotomy on himself after his four...
Scripture
· Sep 18, 2026
· 19
Israelite Women Rejoice After Moses Strikes Rock And Pumpkin Spice Latte Gushes Out
SINAI - The women of Israel erupted into celebration this week after Moses struck a rock with his staff, causing a torrent of pumpkin spice latte to g...
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Life
· Sep 17, 2026
· 89
12 Common Trap Questions From Your Wife And How To Respond To Each
Men, if you've been married for any length of time, then you've no doubt fallen prey to a trap question. Women love asking questions they don't want a...
Economy
· Sep 17, 2026
· 65
Caveman Issues Dire Warning That The Wheel Is Going To Eliminate Countless Jobs
GÖBEKLITEPE - The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of caveman societ...
Celebs
· Sep 16, 2026
· 96
Macklemore Performs Concert In Gaza And Oh No! They've Thrown Him Off A Roof
GAZA - In a bold act of solidarity, Grammy-winning rapper Macklemore staged a surprise rooftop concert in Gaza on Wednesday, performing his gay anthem...
Celebs
· Sep 15, 2026
· 48
Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children
LOS ANGELES, CA - Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support among liberal women by mur...
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World
· Sep 17, 2026
· 48
EU Declares Canada Weak Enough To Join Them
BRUSSELS - Speaking in Strasbourg, France, on Wednesday, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that she had deemed Canada weak ...
Sponsored
· Sep 16, 2026
· 55
9 Great Ways To Teach Kids About The Gospel
Everyone needs to hear the Gospel, even kids. But it's sometimes hard to get them to pay attention when you're trying to talk Bible.
Travel
· Sep 16, 2026
· 86
Hawaiian Newlyweds Head Off To Luxurious Honeymoon In Iowa
DES MOINES, IA - Expressing a desire to escape the monotonous, hum-drum tropical paradise of Oahu, local newlyweds Kai and Leilani Kalani landed at De...
Sponsored
· Sep 15, 2026
· 83
10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler
Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It's not uncommon for parents to run out of ideas for ...
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Premium Content
Premium
· Sep 11, 2026
· 109
25 Years Later...
Today is an emotional day for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the day the largest terrorist attack on American soil was carried out, taking t...
Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 92
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Premium
· Aug 31, 2026
· 76
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Premium
· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
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