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Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky - Article image
Politics · May 20, 2026 · 60
Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky

LOUISVILLE, KY - Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of his primary defeat.

Apostle John Pads Short Third Letter With Extra-Wide Margins, 22-Point Font - Article image
Scripture · May 20, 2026 · 36
Apostle John Pads Short Third Letter With Extra-Wide Margins, 22-Point Font

EPHESUS - Struggling to stretch his third letter to the recommended length, the Apostle John cleverly used 1.5-spacing, extra wide margins, and wrote ...

Politicians Begin Offering Tucker Carlson $1 Million To Not Endorse Them - Article image
Politics · May 20, 2026 · 19
Politicians Begin Offering Tucker Carlson $1 Million To Not Endorse Them

U.S. - Following news that Senator Thomas Massie had lost his bid for re-election, several politicians have reportedly begun offering media personalit...
UK Authorities Issue Stern Warning To British People To Stop Being Stabbed By Muslims
UK Authorities Issue Stern Warning To British People To Stop Being Stabbed By Muslims
UK Authorities Issue Stern Warning To British People To Stop Being Stabbed By Muslims - Featured article image
World · May 20, 2026 · 67

LONDON - In the wake of yet another deadly stabbing of a British citizen at the hands of a migrant, authorities in the United Kingdom issued a stern w...

Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny's At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of - Article image
Life · May 19, 2026 · 67
Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny's At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of

LOST HILLS, CA - New reports show the four old guys hanging out at Denny's at 6 a.m. are having a better day than you or anyone else could possibly dr...

Life · May 19, 2026 · 67
Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny's At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of

Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny's At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of - Featured article image
LOST HILLS, CA - New reports show the four old guys hanging out at Denny's at 6 a.m. are having a better day than you or anyone else could possibly dr...
Politicians Begin Offering Tucker Carlson $1 Million To Not Endorse Them - Article image
Politics · May 20, 2026 · 19
Politicians Begin Offering Tucker Carlson $1 Million To Not Endorse Them

U.S. - Following news that Senator Thomas Massie had lost his bid for re-election, several politicians have reportedly begun offering media personalit...

Subscriber Headlines

Man With Ingrown Toenail Beats Lame And Blind Into Pool Of Bethesda

May 20, 2026 | BrotherTim


“And How Did This Quarter Get Behind Your Ear?” Asks Moses To Pharaoh’s Stunned Magicians

May 14, 2026 | BrotherTim


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Gen Zer Dies Of Starvation After DoorDash Driver Gets Flat Tire - Article image
Gen Zer Dies Of Starvation After DoorDash Driver Gets Flat Tire
Life · May 20, 2026 · 37
Supreme Court To Hear Argument Between Siblings Over Who Called Shotgun - Article image
Supreme Court To Hear Argument Between Siblings Over Who Called Shotgun
Family · May 20, 2026 · 31
Apostle John Pads Short Third Letter With Extra-Wide Margins, 22-Point Font - Article image
Apostle John Pads Short Third Letter With Extra-Wide Margins, 22-Point Font
Scripture · May 20, 2026 · 36
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
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Abigail Adams Starting To Believe Husband Made Up This Whole ‘Continental Congress’ As An Excuse To Hang Out With The Boys - Article image
Abigail Adams Starting To Believe Husband Made Up This Whole ‘Continental Congress’ As An Excuse To Hang Out With The Boys
History · May 19, 2026 · 37
Man Cured Of Depression After Doctor Prescribes Millennium Falcon LEGO Set - Article image
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White House Insists High Gas Prices Are Small Price To Pay For Accomplishing Nothing In Iran - Article image
U.S. · May 19, 2026 · 83
White House Insists High Gas Prices Are Small Price To Pay For Accomplishing Nothing In Iran

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the nation facing its highest gas prices in years, the Trump administration assured Americans that it is but a small price to ...
8 Scary Facts About Data Centers - Article image
Tech · May 18, 2026 · 75
8 Scary Facts About Data Centers

AI uses a lot of power, and it needs massive data centers to support it. That's why, despite data centers having existed for decades, people are sudde...
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate - Article image
Politics · May 18, 2026 · 58
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate

U.S. - New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candida...
Thomas Massie Finally Recognized As True Libertarian Now That He Doesn't Have A Job - Article image
Politics · May 20, 2026 · 36
Thomas Massie Finally Recognized As True Libertarian Now That He Doesn't Have A Job

GARRISON, KY - Congressman Thomas Massie has finally been recognized as a true libertarian after becoming unemployed.

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Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead - Article image
Scripture · May 18, 2026 · 41
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead

MOUNT CARMEL - The demon known as "Baal" returned from a bathroom break only to find all of 450 of his prophets dead.
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’ - Article image
World · May 17, 2026 · 62
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’

LONDON - London Mayor Sadiq Khan was deeply confused by protests over the weekend where no one was shouting "Death To Jews."
Wife Can't Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again - Article image
Lifestyle · May 18, 2026 · 36
Wife Can't Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again

BOISE, ID - With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get back outside and be horrible at gardening aga...
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox - Article image
Sports · May 18, 2026 · 28
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox

BOSTON, MA - To keep games from getting out of hand, Major League Baseball announced that it would be implementing a 10-run "mercy rule" for the Bosto...

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CNN Praises Taliban For Wearing Masks During Attack - Article image
World · Aug 14, 2021 · 223
CNN Praises Taliban For Wearing Masks During Attack

KABUL - Approximately twelve minutes after U.S. troops withdrew from Afghanistan, Taliban fighters have completely taken over the entire country.
'Look, Is That Trump Committing An Impeachable Offense?' Mitch McConnell Says, Distracting Dems While More Conservative Judges Sneak By - Article image
'Look, Is That Trump Committing An Impeachable Offense?' Mitch McConnell Says, Distracting Dems While More Conservative Judges Sneak By
Politics · Dec 17, 2019 · 10
Biden's New Podcast Available Exclusively On Vinyl - Article image
Biden's New Podcast Available Exclusively On Vinyl
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Biden Worried He Forgot His Meds Again After Seeing Large Bunny Approaching On White House Lawn - Article image
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Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 55
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 28
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition - Article image
Premium · May 5, 2026 · 47
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition

Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees - Article image
Premium · Apr 28, 2026 · 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees

Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...

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Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout - Article image
Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout
Politics · Jun 21, 2019 · 19
Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden - Article image
Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden
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As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts - Article image
As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts
Politics · Jan 8, 2020 · 10
Rachel Levine Is 100% Woman And We Are Sorry For Calling Her A Man - Article image
Rachel Levine Is 100% Woman And We Are Sorry For Calling Her A Man
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Georgia Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country, Later Clarifies He Actually Said 'My Pleasure' - Article image
Georgia Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country, Later Clarifies He Actually Said 'My Pleasure'
Christian Living · Jul 22, 2019 · 24
Biden Apologizes For Racist Gaffe: 'I Like All Races, Even The Bad Ones' - Article image
Biden Apologizes For Racist Gaffe: 'I Like All Races, Even The Bad Ones'
Politics · Aug 9, 2019 · 10

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