World
· Jul 14, 2026
UK Finally Gets Tough By Increasing Penalty For Terrorism To 5 Hours Of Community Service
LONDON - The United Kingdom finally decided to crack down on extremist violence, increasing the penalty for terrorist attacks to five hours of communi...
U.S.
· Jul 13, 2026
· 49
Police Instantly Disperse 'Teen Takeover' By Firing Job Applications Into Crowd
CHICAGO, IL - Local police successfully dispersed the mob at a "teen takeover" event in the downtown area Friday night by firing thousands of job app...
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Celebs
· Jul 13, 2026
· 73
Megyn Kelly Now Claims She's Never Heard Of A 'Candace Owens'
U.S. - Podcast host Megyn Kelly surprised listeners on Monday when, during an expletive-filled monologue, she claimed to have never heard of whatever ...
U.S.
· Jul 11, 2026
· 86
Uh Oh: Mamdani's New NYC Map Includes 'Little Auschwitz' In Brooklyn
NEW YORK CITY - Concerns over Mayor Zohran Mamdani's "Immigrant Enclave Map" have grown after it was noted that the Mayor had added a "Little Auschwit...
Family
· Jul 12, 2026
· 74
Man Informs Wife He Can't Mow The Lawn Today As He Is Busy Playing Lawn Mowing Simulator
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Local man Brett Callahan informed his wife that he wouldn't be able to mow the lawn today as he was completely tied up playing a lawn...
Life
· Jul 13, 2026
· 71
IKEA Furniture Now Includes Helpful Instructions On How To Swear In Swedish
ÄLMHULT - Home furnishing giant IKEA announced that all purchases of its assemble-at-home furniture would now include helpful instructions on how to ...
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Life
· Jul 5, 2022
· 335
Can You Spot All The Signs Of Racism In This Patriotic Picture?
Racism is everywhere - especially on July 4th! To be a good anti-racist, you must train yourself to see racism everywhere and then loudly and obnoxiou...
Celebs
· Jul 10, 2026
· 85
Candace Owens Confirmed To Be A Jewish Plot To Make Antisemites Look Retarded
U.S. - The White House confirmed on Friday what many had long suspected: that podcast host Candace Owens is an elaborate Jewish plot to make antisemit...
Family
· May 19, 2026
· 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Education
· Jul 9, 2026
· 151
Activists Push For California Schools To Teach 'Girl Math'
SACRAMENTO, CA - Buoyed by recent efforts to teach "Black English" in California schools, a new coalition of activists demanded that "Girl Math" be of...
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Premium
· Jun 15, 2026
· 68
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition
Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
Premium
· May 25, 2026
· 39
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?
Hey, Bee family!
Premium
· May 19, 2026
· 95
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
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