WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a successful outing as guest host of The Charlie Kirk Show, Vice President JD Vance has decided to leave politics behind and start his very own fan podcast about J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings.
"Hosting The Charlie Kirk Show was the greatest honor of my life, and I want to keep chasing this feeling," Vance reportedly told President Donald Trump in a closed-door meeting. "And I have a lot — a lot — of things to say about Frodo and the One Ring."
Vance, who famously overcame the challenges of his "hillbilly" roots and graduated from Yale University with a law degree, reportedly considers himself to be an intellectual giant who can stand shoulder to shoulder with the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien because he also published a book called Hillbilly Elegy. "My book is just like The Lord of the Rings," he said. "Rural Kentucky is exactly like the Shire, and Washington, D.C. is Mordor. I have literally traveled the path of the Fellowship. The only difference is I never went 'there and back again' because I am never going back to Kentucky."
According to sources, Vance originally intended to finish his term and position himself for a presidential run in 2028, but now he just wants to talk about halflings who live in holes in the ground. "I think he really could have been a great president," one White House aide said, "but I think, in his heart, Vance is still in love with the Shire."
Trump expressed disappointment with Vance's decision, but said he bore him no ill will. "Vance has done a lot of great work for us, and I wish he'd do some more, but I'm excited to listen to his podcast, too," Trump said. "I hope he can finally explain who the heck Tom Bombadil is."
At publishing time, JD Vance had attracted negative press for saying he likes Peter Jackson's The Hobbit trilogy.
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