Politics
· Sep 10, 2026
· 48
Trump Pledges That If Voters Defeat Socialism In November, They Will Each Get An Equal Redistribution Of Wealth From The Government
DALLAS, TX - In his keynote speech at the 2026 RNC Midterm Convention, President Donald Trump pledged that if voters defeat socialism in November, the...
Scripture
· Sep 10, 2026
· 42
Moses Threatens Pharaoh With Plague Of Unskippable YouTube Ads
EGYPT - A remarkable discovery in what was formerly the Biblical land of Goshen indicated that, in addition to the traditional 10 plagues mentioned in...
Latest
Buzzing
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 91
The Babylon Bee Interviews The Lindsay Clancy Jury
With millions of Americans struggling to understand how the Lindsay Clancy jury came within a hair's breadth of finding the self-confessed murderer "n...
Theology
· Sep 9, 2026
· 73
'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus
PALO ALTO, CA - As tech giants continue to bicker back and forth about the dangers of A.I. becoming powerful enough to kill all humanity, Silicon Vall...
Sponsored
· Sep 9, 2026
· 64
9 Rejected 'VeggieTales' Episodes
There have been over 150 episodes of the beloved children's cartoon VeggieTales across all its iterations, but not every idea the writers had made it ...
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 73
Holdout Juror Accused Of Getting Hung Up On Fact That Defendant Committed Crime
PLYMOUTH, MA - In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being ...
Must Read
Politics
· Sep 8, 2026
· 80
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the U.S. Congress prepared to return to work next week, one major lingering question was answered as the Senate approved a reque...
Scripture
· Sep 8, 2026
· 50
Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped
PHILIPPI - According to sources, the disciples at Lydia's house were shocked to see that Paul had returned from prison covered in tattoos and "totally...
U.S.
· Sep 7, 2026
· 99
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad
U.S. - Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, pro...
Family
· Sep 8, 2026
· 90
Child Tragically Reaches Age Where He Knows He's Not Actually Playing Video Game
SEDONA, AZ - Local five-year-old Marcus Townsend unfortunately crossed the dreaded Rubicon of knowing whether he was actually playing a video game or ...
Don't Miss
Premium Content
Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 87
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Premium
· Aug 31, 2026
· 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Premium
· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Premium
· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
Greatest Hits
All News