Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Bee Minus Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Bee Minus
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Bee Minus Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Skip to main content
‘No Thanks,’ Says Hungry Homeless Man After Being Offered Marshmallow Jello Salad - Article image
Life · Nov 28, 2025 · 61
‘No Thanks,’ Says Hungry Homeless Man After Being Offered Marshmallow Jello Salad

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - New reports indicated that local homeless man John Brill politely yet firmly refused a passerby's offer of free leftover marshmall...

Heaven Confirms People Who Prefer Ham At Thanksgiving Will Not Enter The Kingdom - Article image
Theology · Nov 26, 2025 · 89
Heaven Confirms People Who Prefer Ham At Thanksgiving Will Not Enter The Kingdom

HEAVEN - Celestial sources have recently confirmed that people who prefer ham to turkey at Thanksgiving will not enter the kingdom of God.

Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove - Article image
Scripture · Nov 28, 2025 · 41
Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove

OXFORD - One of the most well-known stories from the biblical gospels took on a whole new meaning this week, as a team of scholars revealed that they ...
Turkey Pardoned By Biden Administration 4 Times Commits Violent Turkey Murder
Turkey Pardoned By Biden Administration 4 Times Commits Violent Turkey Murder
Turkey Pardoned By Biden Administration 4 Times Commits Violent Turkey Murder - Featured article image
Crime · Nov 28, 2025 · 83

PORTLAND, OR - A turkey that had previously been pardoned by former President Joe Biden four times was reportedly arrested in connection with a violen...

Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year - Article image
Life · Nov 27, 2025 · 120
Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year

Conservatism may be the superior political ideology, but don't beat yourself up, liberals. There's still plenty to be thankful for this year.

Life · Nov 27, 2025 · 120
Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year

Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year - Featured article image
Conservatism may be the superior political ideology, but don't beat yourself up, liberals. There's still plenty to be thankful for this year.
Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove - Article image
Scripture · Nov 28, 2025 · 41
Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove

OXFORD - One of the most well-known stories from the biblical gospels took on a whole new meaning this week, as a team of scholars revealed that they ...

Subscriber Headlines

Scholars Believe David's First Words To Bathsheba Were, 'May I Meet You?'

Nov 17, 2025 | SkullCrazes


Toddler’s Pathetic Story Going Nowhere

Nov 19, 2025 | Markjshady


Family Receives Free Subscription To 'Cold Of The Month' Club

Nov 25, 2025 | Shawnfucious

Visit Forum

Babylon Bee Black Friday Babylon Bee Stream

Latest

View All
Family Holding Out Hope This Will Finally Be Thanksgiving Where Turkey Explodes In Epic Fireball - Article image
Family Holding Out Hope This Will Finally Be Thanksgiving Where Turkey Explodes In Epic Fireball
Family · Nov 26, 2025 · 60
Indians Politely Decline Taste Of Pilgrims' World-Famous Homemade Smallpox Casserole - Article image
Indians Politely Decline Taste Of Pilgrims' World-Famous Homemade Smallpox Casserole
Culture · Nov 26, 2025 · 56
‘That Ukraine-Russia Peace Deal? I Brokered It. Me!’ Marco Rubio Tells Everyone At Thanksgiving Kids' Table - Article image
‘That Ukraine-Russia Peace Deal? I Brokered It. Me!’ Marco Rubio Tells Everyone At Thanksgiving Kids' Table
U.S. · Nov 26, 2025 · 73
Mall Santa Prepares For Seasonal Gig By Cutting Off Ankle Monitor - Article image
Mall Santa Prepares For Seasonal Gig By Cutting Off Ankle Monitor
Life · Nov 25, 2025 · 54
Trump Reminds Americans To Give Thanks For Him This Holiday - Article image
Trump Reminds Americans To Give Thanks For Him This Holiday
U.S. · Nov 25, 2025 · 46
Experts Say AI Could Replace The Jobs Of Not Only Humans, But Also Lawyers - Article image
Experts Say AI Could Replace The Jobs Of Not Only Humans, But Also Lawyers
Tech · Nov 25, 2025 · 81

Buzzing

View All
Trump's Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated - Article image
U.S. · Nov 26, 2025 · 149
Trump's Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump's seemingly bulletproof strategy of choosing lawyers exclusively based on bust size has not worked out nearly as we...
Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal - Article image
Family · Nov 27, 2025 · 93
Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal

MOULTONBOROUGH, NH - To make the most of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Richardson family reportedly instituted helpful debate rules allowing for 2-min...
Reminder: If You Leave Your Kids Home Alone This Holiday Season, Make Sure They Have Plenty Of Paint Cans, Blowtorches, And A Cutout Of Michael Jordan - Article image
Family · Nov 27, 2025 · 57
Reminder: If You Leave Your Kids Home Alone This Holiday Season, Make Sure They Have Plenty Of Paint Cans, Blowtorches, And A Cutout Of Michael Jordan

U.S. - Authorities issued a public service announcement in time for the holiday season, reminding parents that if they leave their children home alone...
Jesus Heals Demon-Possessed Man By Taking Away His Smartphone - Article image
Scripture · Nov 24, 2025 · 64
Jesus Heals Demon-Possessed Man By Taking Away His Smartphone

CAPERNAUM - Residents of several nearby villages were abuzz with excitement this week, as the traveling carpenter-turned-teacher Jesus of Nazareth hea...

Must Read

Chicago Judge Hoping 23rd Time Is The Charm For Rehabilitating Violent Criminal - Article image
U.S. · Nov 25, 2025 · 111
Chicago Judge Hoping 23rd Time Is The Charm For Rehabilitating Violent Criminal

CHICAGO, IL - A Chicago judge ruled this week that a man previously arrested 23 times for various crimes would be totally rehabilitated if let off the...
Man Torn Between Learning New Board Game And Getting PhD In Quantum Physics - Article image
Life · Nov 25, 2025 · 76
Man Torn Between Learning New Board Game And Getting PhD In Quantum Physics

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Sources close to local man Bradley Mudd say that the 28-year-old is currently torn between learning a new board game and getting hi...
10 More Groups Trump Is Designating As Terrorist Organizations - Article image
U.S. · Nov 24, 2025 · 86
10 More Groups Trump Is Designating As Terrorist Organizations

The Muslim Brotherhood was officially designated a terrorist organization by the Trump administration, but they weren't the only ones.
Nice Day Outdoors Drinking With The Boys Keeps Getting Interrupted By Having To Hit Little White Ball - Article image
Life · Nov 25, 2025 · 73
Nice Day Outdoors Drinking With The Boys Keeps Getting Interrupted By Having To Hit Little White Ball

SAN DIEGO, CA - What had started out as a perfectly enjoyable outing with friends turned sour today, as a local man's nice day outdoors drinking with ...

Don't Miss

‘We’re Republicans And We’re Voting For Kamala,’ Say Democrats - Article image
Politics · Sep 12, 2024 · 97
‘We’re Republicans And We’re Voting For Kamala,’ Say Democrats

U.S. - In an attempt to sway voters away from voting for former President Donald Trump, a group of well-known leaders from different fields - politics...
Couple On Keto Plunged Into Sin After Tasting Forbidden Bread - Article image
Couple On Keto Plunged Into Sin After Tasting Forbidden Bread
Christian Living · Feb 5, 2020 · 6
Surprise Candidate Hiltasha Clintonov Declared Winner Of Iowa Caucuses - Article image
Surprise Candidate Hiltasha Clintonov Declared Winner Of Iowa Caucuses
Politics · Feb 4, 2020 · 5
Biden Takes Town Hall Question From Undecided Irish-American Voter Henry O'Clintonhan - Article image
Biden Takes Town Hall Question From Undecided Irish-American Voter Henry O'Clintonhan
Politics · Oct 16, 2020 · 35
'You'll Need F-15s To Overthrow The Government,' Says Biden To Nation That Was Temporarily Overthrown By An Unarmed Guy In A Buffalo Hat - Article image
'You'll Need F-15s To Overthrow The Government,' Says Biden To Nation That Was Temporarily Overthrown By An Unarmed Guy In A Buffalo Hat
Politics · Aug 31, 2022 · 79
Study: Door-To-Door Vaccine Monitor #1 Career Choice For Kids Who Got Beat Up In High School - Article image
Study: Door-To-Door Vaccine Monitor #1 Career Choice For Kids Who Got Beat Up In High School
Life · Jul 8, 2021 · 94
Libertarian Christian Fights Vigorously To Legalize Various Sins - Article image
Libertarian Christian Fights Vigorously To Legalize Various Sins
Christian Living · Dec 5, 2019 · 6

Premium Content

View All
New Video - The Buzz #026: Pilgrims and Indians - Article image
Premium · Nov 26, 2025 · 18
New Video - The Buzz #026: Pilgrims and Indians

The Bee crew is getting ready for Thanksgiving. Trump is undoing Autopen's turkey pardons, Wormtongue's X account was revealed to be based in Isengard...
New Video - Starving African Children Raise Money To Feed Ariana Grande - Article image
Premium · Nov 25, 2025 · 36
New Video - Starving African Children Raise Money To Feed Ariana Grande

This will move you to tears: a group of starving, emaciated African children raised money to help someone even more in need of nutrition than they: Ar...
Pilgrims, How Was Church? - Article image
Premium · Nov 24, 2025 · 47
Pilgrims, How Was Church?

It's that time of year where we all remember the story with the pilgrims coming to the new world, almost starving to death, and meeting the native Ame...
New Video - The Buzz #025: MKUltra Training - Article image
Premium · Nov 20, 2025 · 25
New Video - The Buzz #025: MKUltra Training

This week it looks like Trump has signed the bill to release the Epstein files, Skillet released a Christmas song that grandmas wish was more tame and...

Greatest Hits

View All
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques - Article image
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
World · Jun 15, 2021 · 144
Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News - Article image
Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News
Tech · Oct 15, 2020 · 85
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide - Article image
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Politics · Nov 9, 2017 · 82
Biden Says He Can't Wait To Find Out Who He Picked For VP - Article image
Biden Says He Can't Wait To Find Out Who He Picked For VP
Politics · Aug 3, 2020 · 81
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship - Article image
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
Lifestyle · Jun 6, 2017 · 37
Bernie Sanders Arrives In Hong Kong To Lecture Protesters On How Good They Have It Under Communism - Article image
Bernie Sanders Arrives In Hong Kong To Lecture Protesters On How Good They Have It Under Communism
Politics · Aug 19, 2019 · 12

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2025 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.