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'Who’s Laughing Now?' Says Covid Toilet Paper Hoarder After Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak - Article image
Life · Jul 18, 2026 · 56
'Who’s Laughing Now?' Says Covid Toilet Paper Hoarder After Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak

LANSING, MI - Six years after friends and neighbors mercilessly mocked him for filling his garage with industrial-sized towers of toilet paper during ...

Netflix Announces New Animated Film 'Bro-Country Demon Hunters' - Article image
Entertainment · Jul 18, 2026 · 74
Netflix Announces New Animated Film 'Bro-Country Demon Hunters'

U.S. - Hoping to piggyback off of their smash hit "K-Pop Demon Hunters," Netflix has announced a new animated film coming in fall 2026 titled "Bro-Cou...

10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir - Article image
Politics · Jul 15, 2026 · 189
10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir

At long last, the wait is over - President Joe Biden has written a memoir about his time in the White House. The book, titled Promise Me, America, wil...
Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable Of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China
Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable Of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China
Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable Of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China - Featured article image
Politics · Jul 17, 2026 · 71

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democrats disputed claims that China interfered in the 2020 U.S. election, declaring that they are perfectly capable of rigging ele...

Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak - Article image
Health · Jul 17, 2026 · 75
Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak

U.S. - Fast-food giant Taco Bell introduced Imodium A-D sauce packets to help customers combat the explosive diarrhea caused by consuming the restaura...

Health · Jul 17, 2026 · 75
Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak

Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak - Featured article image
U.S. - Fast-food giant Taco Bell introduced Imodium A-D sauce packets to help customers combat the explosive diarrhea caused by consuming the restaura...
10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir - Article image
Politics · Jul 15, 2026 · 189
10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir

At long last, the wait is over - President Joe Biden has written a memoir about his time in the White House. The book, titled Promise Me, America, wil...

Subscriber Headlines

Platner Still Polling Well With Rapists

Jul 6, 2026 | DustyNederlander


Tim Walz Claims That Hilter Shouldn't Be Held Responsible For His 4,463 Worst Days

Jul 17, 2026 | ironsakura


Due To Poor Air Quality, Chicago Advises Criminals To Commit Indoor Crimes

Jul 17, 2026 | PoliticalSatire

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Iran Foils New Bombing Attack By Disguising Itself With A Giant 'Q' - Article image
Iran Foils New Bombing Attack By Disguising Itself With A Giant 'Q'
World · Jul 18, 2026 · 61
Plane Crashes After No One Tells The Passengers To 'Fly Safe' - Article image
Plane Crashes After No One Tells The Passengers To 'Fly Safe'
Travel · Jul 17, 2026 · 48
Texas Approves Death Penalty For Anyone Who Starts An Email With 'Happy Monday, Team!' - Article image
Texas Approves Death Penalty For Anyone Who Starts An Email With 'Happy Monday, Team!'
Business · Jul 17, 2026 · 42
Christopher Nolan Criticized For Not Depicting Trojan Horse As Historically Accurate Large Wooden Rabbit - Article image
Christopher Nolan Criticized For Not Depicting Trojan Horse As Historically Accurate Large Wooden Rabbit
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Idaho Builds Border Wall Out Of Potatoes To Keep Out Californians - Article image
Idaho Builds Border Wall Out Of Potatoes To Keep Out Californians
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Brilliant Politician JD Vance Secures Vote Of 100% Of Nation’s Tucker Carlsons - Article image
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CNN Poll Shows 125% Of Americans Don’t Believe Trump’s Claim Of Election Fraud - Article image
Politics · Jul 17, 2026 · 77
CNN Poll Shows 125% Of Americans Don’t Believe Trump’s Claim Of Election Fraud

ATLANTA, GA - President Donald Trump's national address on election integrity may have fallen on deaf ears, according to a new CNN poll that shows 125...
‪Hegseth Orders Any Military Personnel With Low Testosterone Be Transferred To The Navy‬ - Article image
U.S. · Jul 16, 2026 · 69
‪Hegseth Orders Any Military Personnel With Low Testosterone Be Transferred To The Navy‬

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of War Pete Hegseth issued a new order that any military member who is discovered to have low testosterone be immediately...
Man Who Ate At Taco Bell Getting More Baja Blast Than He Bargained For - Article image
Health · Jul 17, 2026 · 57
Man Who Ate At Taco Bell Getting More Baja Blast Than He Bargained For

DOWNEY, CA - According to witnesses, a man eating at Taco Bell received quite a bit more Baja Blast than he had been counting on.
Civil Engineer Really Starting To Regret Building City On Rock & Roll - Article image
Life · Jul 17, 2026 · 66
Civil Engineer Really Starting To Regret Building City On Rock & Roll

U.S. - Civil engineer David Sharpe started out with an ambitious goal to build a city on rock and roll, but now says he should have just stuck with mo...

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Explosive Diarrhea Epidemic Traced To Gain-Of-Function Lab At Taco Bell Institute - Article image
Health · Jul 15, 2026 · 65
Explosive Diarrhea Epidemic Traced To Gain-Of-Function Lab At Taco Bell Institute

IRVINE, CA - Though initial reports indicated that the recent cyclosporiasis outbreak had happened naturally through people consuming produce contamin...
National Park Service Reminds Americans Not To Approach Bison, But If You Do, Make Sure Someone Captures A Hilarious Video Of It - Article image
Life · Jul 16, 2026 · 56
National Park Service Reminds Americans Not To Approach Bison, But If You Do, Make Sure Someone Captures A Hilarious Video Of It

U.S. - The U.S. National Park Service issued a reminder to avoid approaching the bison inside national parks, but if you do, to please be sure that so...
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Family · May 19, 2026 · 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Cockroach Maintains Composure Despite Making Contact With Journalist - Article image
Media · Jul 16, 2026 · 72
Cockroach Maintains Composure Despite Making Contact With Journalist

SHERMAN OAKS, CA - A local cockroach somehow maintained his composure on camera despite unexpectedly making contact with a journalist.

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Impeachment Sequel To Go Straight To DVD - Article image
Politics · Feb 9, 2021 · 81
Impeachment Sequel To Go Straight To DVD

WASHINGTON, D.C. - While Impeachment is a beloved classic that was released in theatres a year ago, the short-awaited sequel Impeachment 2: The R...
Jesus Knocks Down Door Of Man's Heart With Battering Ram - Article image
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Airlines Insist Flights Aren't Being Canceled, They're Being Held Accountable - Article image
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Liberals Warn Enforcing Immigration Law Is A Slippery Slope That May Lead To Enforcing Other Laws - Article image
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Local Man Takes On Persona Of 17th Century Puritan When Praying - Article image
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How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 71
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition

Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring? - Article image
Premium · May 25, 2026 · 39
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?

Hey, Bee family!
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...

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Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces - Article image
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
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Florida Recount Finally Wraps Up, Al Gore Declared President - Article image
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Study Finds Connection Between Believing Russia Rigged 2016 Election And Believing 2020 Election Was Foolproof - Article image
Study Finds Connection Between Believing Russia Rigged 2016 Election And Believing 2020 Election Was Foolproof
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Disney CEO: 'To Avoid Filming Among Depraved, Immoral People, We Are Moving All Our Georgia Operations Back To Hollywood' - Article image
Disney CEO: 'To Avoid Filming Among Depraved, Immoral People, We Are Moving All Our Georgia Operations Back To Hollywood'
Entertainment · May 30, 2019 · 10

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