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Nazi Really Regretting Getting Graham Platner Tattoo - Article image
Politics · Jul 9, 2026 · 40
Nazi Really Regretting Getting Graham Platner Tattoo

BANGOR, ME - In the wake of the Democratic nominee suspending his Senate campaign, local Nazi Wade Marks expressed regret over getting his Graham Plat...

Little League Team Excited For Chubby Kid’s Family To Bring The Snacks - Article image
Life · Jul 9, 2026 · 24
Little League Team Excited For Chubby Kid’s Family To Bring The Snacks

MEDINA, OH - The excitement was palpable this afternoon on the bench of a local little league team after word spread that the chubby kid's family was ...

10 Best Candidates To Replace Graham Platner - Article image
Politics · Jul 8, 2026 · 86
10 Best Candidates To Replace Graham Platner

Democrats are scrambling to come up with alternate options in the race for a U.S. Senate seat in Maine, where primary winner Graham Platner faces moun...
Sonny Hostin Flees In Terror After Seeing Pillsbury American Flag Cookie Dough
Sonny Hostin Flees In Terror After Seeing Pillsbury American Flag Cookie Dough
Sonny Hostin Flees In Terror After Seeing Pillsbury American Flag Cookie Dough - Featured article image
Celebs · Jul 8, 2026 · 69

NEW YORK CITY - A screaming Sonny Hostin fled in terror after rounding the corner in the grocery store only to come face-to-face with a shelf of Pills...

GOP Senators Reassure Public They Spoke With Mitch McConnell Just This Morning By Going To Witch Of Endor - Article image
Politics · Jul 8, 2026 · 53
GOP Senators Reassure Public They Spoke With Mitch McConnell Just This Morning By Going To Witch Of Endor

WASHINGTON, D.C - GOP senators responded to concerns about the health of Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell by assuring the public they had spoken with ...

Politics · Jul 8, 2026 · 53
GOP Senators Reassure Public They Spoke With Mitch McConnell Just This Morning By Going To Witch Of Endor

GOP Senators Reassure Public They Spoke With Mitch McConnell Just This Morning By Going To Witch Of Endor - Featured article image
WASHINGTON, D.C - GOP senators responded to concerns about the health of Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell by assuring the public they had spoken with ...
10 Best Candidates To Replace Graham Platner - Article image
Politics · Jul 8, 2026 · 86
10 Best Candidates To Replace Graham Platner

Democrats are scrambling to come up with alternate options in the race for a U.S. Senate seat in Maine, where primary winner Graham Platner faces moun...

Subscriber Headlines

Nazi Party Distances Itself From Graham Platner

Jul 6, 2026 | Notthebees


Platner Still Polling Well With Rapists

Jul 6, 2026 | DustyNederlander


Trump Nukes Iran For The Finale In Unforgettable July 4th Firework Show

Jul 6, 2026 | TwoDegreesOff

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Introverted Conference Attendee Torn Between Participating In Icebreaker And Throwing Self Off Bridge
Life · Jul 8, 2026 · 80
MLB Introduces New Rule Where Batters Can Challenge Umpire To A Duel - Article image
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Democrats Quietly Add 'Have You Raped Anyone?' To Questionnaire For Aspiring Candidates - Article image
Democrats Quietly Add 'Have You Raped Anyone?' To Questionnaire For Aspiring Candidates
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WNBA Player Suspended For Not Assaulting Caitlin Clark - Article image
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8 Simple, Foolproof Ways To Test An Athlete's Gender - Article image
Sports · Jul 6, 2026 · 133
8 Simple, Foolproof Ways To Test An Athlete's Gender

On June 30, the United States Supreme Court upheld the right of states to ban transgender athletes from competing in female sports. Now, the hard work...
U.S. Back In World Cup After Trump Deports Belgian Team - Article image
Sports · Jul 7, 2026 · 54
U.S. Back In World Cup After Trump Deports Belgian Team

U.S. - The United States Men's National Team was officially placed back in the World Cup after President Donald Trump ordered the deportation of the e...
Rape Allegations Mar Reputation Of Local Nazi - Article image
Politics · Jul 7, 2026 · 59
Rape Allegations Mar Reputation Of Local Nazi

SULLIVAN, ME - A promising political career has been abruptly cut short after rape allegations have sadly marred the reputation of a local Nazi.
Wife Says She Will Be Ready To Go In 45 Minutes, Plus Stoppage Time - Article image
Family · Jul 7, 2026 · 57
Wife Says She Will Be Ready To Go In 45 Minutes, Plus Stoppage Time

LIMERICK, PA - In preparation for their Friday date night, local wife Allison Murphy informed her husband that she would be ready to go to dinner in 4...

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Can You Spot All The Signs Of Racism In This Patriotic Picture? - Article image
Life · Jul 5, 2022 · 333
Can You Spot All The Signs Of Racism In This Patriotic Picture?

Racism is everywhere - especially on July 4th! To be a good anti-racist, you must train yourself to see racism everywhere and then loudly and obnoxiou...
Dems Wishing There Had Been Some Sort Of Sign That Platner Was A Bad Person - Article image
Politics · Jul 6, 2026 · 73
Dems Wishing There Had Been Some Sort Of Sign That Platner Was A Bad Person

U.S. - In the wake of sexual assault allegations being leveled at Senate nominee Graham Platner, Democrats were left wishing there had been some sort ...
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Family · May 19, 2026 · 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Mitch McConnell's Staff Assures Public His Death Will Not Prevent Him From Finishing His Term - Article image
Politics · Jul 7, 2026 · 64
Mitch McConnell's Staff Assures Public His Death Will Not Prevent Him From Finishing His Term

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As rumors continued to swirl throughout the nation's capital regarding his status, Senator Mitch McConnell's staff assured the publ...

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Fetterman Abides By Senate Dress Code With New Formal Hoodie - Article image
Politics · Nov 9, 2022 · 97
Fetterman Abides By Senate Dress Code With New Formal Hoodie

PHILADELPHIA, PA - In the wake of his Senate victory, Democratic Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. John Fetterman has purchased a new dress hoodie to wear in Wash...
8-Day-Old Jewish Baby Excited For Cool Party They're Throwing For Him And Hey Why Are All The Women Leaving And Who Is This Guy In The Robes - Article image
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‘Spencer Pratt’s Rhetoric Is Dangerous,’ Warns Karen Bass To The 30 Angelenos Who Haven't Been Stabbed To Death By Hobos - Article image
‘Spencer Pratt’s Rhetoric Is Dangerous,’ Warns Karen Bass To The 30 Angelenos Who Haven't Been Stabbed To Death By Hobos
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Historians Now Claim Hitler Was Just Kidding When He Chanted 'We're Coming For The Jews' - Article image
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How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 68
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Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
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Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 87
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...

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