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Like Genghis Khan Gazing Over His Empire, Man Watches As Fixed Sprinkler No Longer Waters Driveway - Article image
Life · May 13, 2026 · 21
Like Genghis Khan Gazing Over His Empire, Man Watches As Fixed Sprinkler No Longer Waters Driveway

OGDEN, UT - As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshl...

BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said 'I'm Fine' - Article image
Family · May 13, 2026 · 43
BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said 'I'm Fine'

AKRON, OH - Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge of a frown as she kept glancing at him, a...

9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work - Article image
Sponsored · May 12, 2026 · 36
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work

While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is c...
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women - Featured article image
Media · May 12, 2026 · 73

U.S. - Longtime daytime talk show "The View" has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of angry middle-aged women.

In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess - Article image
Christian Living · May 12, 2026 · 65
In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess

TAMPA, FL - Heavenly sources have announced that the Almighty has declined to "Bless This Mess" in spite of the presence of a novelty sign requesting ...

Christian Living · May 12, 2026 · 65
In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess

In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess - Featured article image
TAMPA, FL - Heavenly sources have announced that the Almighty has declined to "Bless This Mess" in spite of the presence of a novelty sign requesting ...
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work - Article image
Sponsored · May 12, 2026 · 36
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work

While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is c...

Subscriber Headlines

Tolerant Liberal Lies In Bed Mulling Over Who To Hate Today

May 2, 2026 | Clogz


Cal Tech Now Offering Classes On HOW TO WRITE A MANIFESTO

Apr 30, 2026 | Nightrider


Mom Overcome With Guilt For Only Feeding, Clothing, Educating Kids Today

May 8, 2026 | Murf

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Local Fan Way More Invested In Success Of Team Than Players On Actual Team Are - Article image
Local Fan Way More Invested In Success Of Team Than Players On Actual Team Are
Sports · May 12, 2026 · 44
WebMD Adds Convenient ‘Draft My Last Will And Testament’ Option - Article image
WebMD Adds Convenient ‘Draft My Last Will And Testament’ Option
Health · May 12, 2026 · 48
Karen Bass Endorsed By California Wildfires - Article image
Karen Bass Endorsed By California Wildfires
Politics · May 12, 2026 · 48
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue - Article image
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue
Politics · May 11, 2026 · 68
Ew, A Gross Disgusting Bug — What, Why Did You Kill It, YOU MONSTER! — Op-Ed By Wife - Article image
Ew, A Gross Disgusting Bug — What, Why Did You Kill It, YOU MONSTER! — Op-Ed By Wife
Op-Ed · May 11, 2026 · 64
Trump Unveils Plans To Turn Reflecting Pool Into Humongous Water Park - Article image
Trump Unveils Plans To Turn Reflecting Pool Into Humongous Water Park
Politics · May 11, 2026 · 39

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Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue - Article image
Scripture · May 11, 2026 · 89
Three Republicans Thrown Into Fiery Furnace For Not Bowing Down To Trump Statue

MAR-A-LAGO, FL - Three Republicans refused to bow to the golden Trump statue at Mar-A-Lago, sources confirmed today. Those at the unveiling had been i...
What Luck! Dr. Fauci Announces He's Been Working On Hantavirus Vaccine This Whole Time - Article image
Health · May 11, 2026 · 68
What Luck! Dr. Fauci Announces He's Been Working On Hantavirus Vaccine This Whole Time

ROCKVILLE, MD - Hantavirus has quickly become the biggest viral threat to humanity since COVID and as luck would have it, Dr. Fauci has announced that...
Dems Accuse Spencer Pratt Of Not Wanting To Destroy California - Article image
Politics · May 12, 2026 · 63
Dems Accuse Spencer Pratt Of Not Wanting To Destroy California

LOS ANGELES, CA - Democrats have unleashed vicious attack ads accusing L.A. mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt of not wanting to destroy the state of Ca...
China Visit Off To Rough Start After Trump Demands To Negotiate Directly With General Tso - Article image
World · May 12, 2026 · 60
China Visit Off To Rough Start After Trump Demands To Negotiate Directly With General Tso

BEIJING - Diplomatic talks between the United States and China reportedly got off to an awkward start after President Donald Trump demanded to negotia...

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‘There, It Couldn’t Be More Clear,’ Announces John After Finishing Revelation - Article image
Scripture · May 11, 2026 · 45
‘There, It Couldn’t Be More Clear,’ Announces John After Finishing Revelation

PATMOS - The Apostle John emerged from his cave earlier this week feeling confident that he couldn't have been more clear in his description of the r...
New York Offers To House Hantavirus Patients In Nursing Homes - Article image
Health · May 11, 2026 · 55
New York Offers To House Hantavirus Patients In Nursing Homes

MANHATTAN - The State of New York has graciously offered to allow American hantavirus patients to stay in any of their local nursing homes.
BREAKING: Democrats Prepare Petard To Destroy Trump And Republicans; UPDATE: They Themselves Have Been Hoisted By Said Petard - Article image
Politics · May 11, 2026 · 51
BREAKING: Democrats Prepare Petard To Destroy Trump And Republicans; UPDATE: They Themselves Have Been Hoisted By Said Petard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a most cunning stratagem, Democratic lawmakers didst this morn unveil a petard of monstrous proportions, which they had labored ...
Goodyear Blimp Barely Recognizable After Going On Ozempic - Article image
Health · May 11, 2026 · 52
Goodyear Blimp Barely Recognizable After Going On Ozempic

CARSON, CA - The famous Goodyear Blimp has become nearly unrecognizable after starting the popular weight-loss drug Ozempic.

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Elizabeth Warren Caught In Bush Outside Kavanaugh's House Wielding Tomahawk - Article image
Politics · Jun 8, 2022 · 107
Elizabeth Warren Caught In Bush Outside Kavanaugh's House Wielding Tomahawk

CHEVY CHASE, MD - Police arrested a tomahawk-wielding Cherokee Indian hiding in the bushes outside Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh's home this week. A...
10 Ways To Come Out As A Conservative To Your Liberal Parents - Article image
10 Ways To Come Out As A Conservative To Your Liberal Parents
Worldviews · Feb 4, 2026 · 87
Lost Kirk Cameron Wanders Across Set Of Good Movie - Article image
Lost Kirk Cameron Wanders Across Set Of Good Movie
Celebs · Aug 10, 2017 · 7
Historians Believe King Solomon Spent Up To 3 Hours Every Day Just Opening Pickle Jars - Article image
Historians Believe King Solomon Spent Up To 3 Hours Every Day Just Opening Pickle Jars
Scripture · Nov 8, 2022 · 88
Due To Child Actors Aging, 'Stranger Things' Season 5 To Take Place In Haunted Nursing Home - Article image
Due To Child Actors Aging, 'Stranger Things' Season 5 To Take Place In Haunted Nursing Home
Entertainment · Aug 8, 2025 · 36
Terrified Tim Walz Stands On Chair All Day Waiting For Wife To Get Home And Kill Spider - Article image
Terrified Tim Walz Stands On Chair All Day Waiting For Wife To Get Home And Kill Spider
Politics · Oct 15, 2024 · 110
St. Patrick Glad He Brought Christianity To The Anglo-Saxons So Their Descendants Could Get Plastered And Punch Each Other - Article image
St. Patrick Glad He Brought Christianity To The Anglo-Saxons So Their Descendants Could Get Plastered And Punch Each Other
Lifestyle · Mar 17, 2023 · 137

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Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition - Article image
Premium · May 5, 2026 · 44
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition

Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees - Article image
Premium · Apr 28, 2026 · 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees

Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 36
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...

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Hollywood Elites Rush To Normalize Pedophilia Before They're All Outed By Epstein Client List - Article image
Hollywood Elites Rush To Normalize Pedophilia Before They're All Outed By Epstein Client List
Worldviews · Aug 21, 2020 · 136
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns - Article image
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
Politics · Mar 10, 2020 · 16
Democrats Warn We Shouldn’t Reopen The Country Until We Can Be Safe From Trump Getting Credit For A Good Economy - Article image
Democrats Warn We Shouldn’t Reopen The Country Until We Can Be Safe From Trump Getting Credit For A Good Economy
Politics · Apr 27, 2020 · 16
Genius Trump Nominates Joe Biden To Supreme Court Forcing Dems To Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault - Article image
Genius Trump Nominates Joe Biden To Supreme Court Forcing Dems To Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault
Politics · Sep 20, 2020 · 91
Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It - Article image
Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It
Politics · Jan 15, 2020 · 7
Hillary Clinton Releases DNA Test Results Proving She's Only Half Lizard Person - Article image
Hillary Clinton Releases DNA Test Results Proving She's Only Half Lizard Person
Politics · Oct 15, 2018 · 21

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