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San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop - Article image
U.S. · Mar 17, 2026 · 46
San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, San Francisco officials spared no expense in dyeing all the poop on the city's sidewalks green...

John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass - Article image
Politics · Mar 17, 2026 · 41
John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With Americans pressing their senators and representatives to take action to secure elections, Senate Majority Leader John Thune vo...

Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud - Article image
Theology · Mar 17, 2026 · 36
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud

HADES - Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to...
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff - Featured article image
World · Mar 17, 2026 · 36

TEHRAN - At President Donald Trump's direction, the U.S. military successfully took out Iran's new gay supreme leader by luring him out of his bunker ...

9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 76
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay

In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly c...

World · Mar 16, 2026 · 76
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay

9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay - Featured article image
In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly c...
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud - Article image
Theology · Mar 17, 2026 · 36
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud

HADES - Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to...

Subscriber Headlines

In Honor Of Women's History Month, Nation's Thermostats Set To 80 Degrees

Mar 5, 2026 | LPA The Human


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Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 86
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TEHRAN - With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new Ayatollah Mojtaba Khame...
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Media · Mar 16, 2026 · 77
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NEW YORK, NY - The recent string of embarrassing incidents involving popular media outlets continued on Monday, as The New York Times was forced to re...
‘Sinners’ Wins Oscar For Crappiest Movie To Win Oscar - Article image
Entertainment · Mar 15, 2026 · 67
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HOLLYWOOD, CA - The horror movie Sinners has officially won the Oscar for "Crappiest Movie To Win An Oscar".
'Jim Crow 2.0!' Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card - Article image
Politics · Mar 16, 2026 · 63
'Jim Crow 2.0!' Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card

ALEXANDRIA, VA - Senator Chuck Schumer was seen struggling with Costco security guards after failing to show his membership card at the entrance of th...

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'It's Just A Flesh Wound!' Says Legless Torso Of Iranian Ayatollah - Article image
World · Mar 14, 2026 · 93
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TEHRAN - The legless torso of newly-appointed Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei assured the world that the loss of his legs in battle was "just a flesh wound...
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New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 24
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