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San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop - Article image
U.S. · Mar 17, 2026 · 75
San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, San Francisco officials spared no expense in dyeing all the poop on the city's sidewalks green...

John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass - Article image
Politics · Mar 17, 2026 · 56
John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With Americans pressing their senators and representatives to take action to secure elections, Senate Majority Leader John Thune vo...

Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud - Article image
Theology · Mar 17, 2026 · 70
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud

HADES - Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to...
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff - Featured article image
World · Mar 17, 2026 · 69

TEHRAN - At President Donald Trump's direction, the U.S. military successfully took out Iran's new gay supreme leader by luring him out of his bunker ...

Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store - Article image
Family · Mar 17, 2026 · 47
Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store

LINCOLN, NE - Local mom Clara Gibbons expressed dismay upon discovering that her children had once again eaten all the groceries that were in the trun...

Family · Mar 17, 2026 · 47
Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store

Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store - Featured article image
LINCOLN, NE - Local mom Clara Gibbons expressed dismay upon discovering that her children had once again eaten all the groceries that were in the trun...
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud - Article image
Theology · Mar 17, 2026 · 70
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud

HADES - Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to...

Subscriber Headlines

Parent Kind Of Scared To Ask Her Kid What He Learned At School Today

Mar 12, 2026 | Colton Man of Gondor


College Adds Barista Studies Major

Mar 12, 2026 | Dr Conservative Prof


Newly Uncovered Bible Scripts Reveal That King Solomon Received Over 70,000 Instagram Reels Every Day

Mar 14, 2026 | Colton Man of Gondor

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9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 85
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay

In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly c...
Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 90
Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women

TEHRAN - With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new Ayatollah Mojtaba Khame...
'New York Times' Retracts Story Due To Several Accuracies - Article image
Media · Mar 16, 2026 · 77
'New York Times' Retracts Story Due To Several Accuracies

NEW YORK, NY - The recent string of embarrassing incidents involving popular media outlets continued on Monday, as The New York Times was forced to re...
'Jim Crow 2.0!' Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card - Article image
Politics · Mar 16, 2026 · 64
'Jim Crow 2.0!' Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card

ALEXANDRIA, VA - Senator Chuck Schumer was seen struggling with Costco security guards after failing to show his membership card at the entrance of th...

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'It's Just A Flesh Wound!' Says Legless Torso Of Iranian Ayatollah - Article image
World · Mar 14, 2026 · 93
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TEHRAN - The legless torso of newly-appointed Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei assured the world that the loss of his legs in battle was "just a flesh wound...
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Sponsored · Dec 15, 2021 · 174
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First off, congratulations on raising a child already versed in progressive ideals! Your Christmas holiday is sure to be filled with joy, laughter, fe...
Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs - Article image
U.S. · Mar 14, 2026 · 86
Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs

CHAPPAQUA, NY - With TSA suffering severe staffing shortages amid a halt in pay, former President Bill Clinton has volunteered to lend a hand patting ...
Media: No Motive Yet In Attack On Jewish Synagogue By Radical Muslim - Article image
U.S. · Mar 13, 2026 · 108
Media: No Motive Yet In Attack On Jewish Synagogue By Radical Muslim

U.S. - With the nation reeling from an outbreak of violent incidents in the wake of the U.S. military strikes against Iran, the media clarified that t...

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Insiders Confirm That Trump's Speech Tonight Will Include Numerous, Unpredictable, And Randomly Spaced Rapid Head Turns - Article image
Politics · Jul 18, 2024 · 74
Insiders Confirm That Trump's Speech Tonight Will Include Numerous, Unpredictable, And Randomly Spaced Rapid Head Turns

MILWAUKEE, WI - Insiders at that Republican National Convention just revealed that Trump's address to the convention tonight will be frequently inters...
New Calvinist Video Game Just 40 Hours Of Non-Interactive Cutscenes - Article image
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New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 24
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
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Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 30
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News - Article image
Premium · Mar 10, 2026 · 30
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Secret Service interrupts the most handsome President of the United States of America in the world to share some explosive news - unfortunately, it's ...
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader - Article image
Premium · Mar 5, 2026 · 49
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader

The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Leader - wait, they have now anno...

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Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking - Article image
Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking
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