Life
· Jul 25, 2026
· 26
Wells Fargo Explains That Yes, They Gave All Your Money To A Hobo Named Frank, But Will Make Things Right By Coming To Your House To Murder You
HOUSTON, TX - Representatives for Wells Fargo explained to local customer Jim Stephens that they did give all of the money in his checking account to ...
Crime
· Jul 24, 2026
· 51
CVS Clerk Reminds Looter To Enter Rewards Number Before Fleeing
SANTA MONICA, CA - According to sources, a CVS employee kept a clear head amid the chaos of a recent "smash and grab" event on Friday, being sure to h...
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· Jul 22, 2026
· 114
9 Things Women Are Better At Than Men
There's no denying the natural order of things - there are some things women are just plain better at than men. Being aware of these things can help l...
Sports
· Jul 23, 2026
· 69
WNBA Warns Sophie Cunningham The League Will Fold If Only Women Are Allowed To Play
U.S. - League officials for the WNBA warned Indiana Fever guard Sophie Cunningham that if men were not allowed to play women's sports, the league woul...
Life
· Jul 21, 2026
· 218
9 Things Men Are Better At Than Women
Women may be the fairer sex, but are they the better sex? Research is conclusive that men are better at quite a few things than women.
Politics
· Jul 23, 2026
· 51
New Yorker Being Stabbed On Street Corner Glad To Know Mamdani Focused On Bringing Netanyahu To Justice
NEW YORK, NY - As a mugger repeatedly stabbed him on a Manhattan street corner, local resident Ethan Wallace took comfort in the knowledge that Mayor ...
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Church
· Jul 22, 2026
· 90
United Methodist Church Announces Ban On Heterosexual Clergy
U.S. - Finally making public a long-anticipated change to the denomination's policy regarding qualifications for members of its pastorate, the United ...
Crime
· Jul 23, 2026
· 58
Chicago Mayor Credits Huge Drop In Crime To Turning Crime Stats Chart Upside Down
CHICAGO, IL - Mayor Brandon Johnson credited Chicago's drop in reported crime to his new policy of holding the crime statistics chart upside down.
Family
· May 19, 2026
· 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Family
· Jul 23, 2026
· 59
Odysseus Finally Returns Home After 20 Years And Oh No! Penelope Is Out Of Baking Powder And Needs Him To Run Out Again Real Quick
ITHACA - Upon finally returning home after a desperate 20-year journey, Odysseus was informed by his wife Penelope that she was out of baking powder, ...
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Premium
· Jun 15, 2026
· 71
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition
Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
Premium
· May 25, 2026
· 40
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?
Hey, Bee family!
Premium
· May 19, 2026
· 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
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