Politics
· Sep 3, 2026
· 30
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab
NEW YORK, NY - Governor Kathy Hochul desperately tried to warn New Yorkers that Republicans were taking away women's rights, but no one in the room co...
Church
· Sep 3, 2026
· 20
Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance
PORTLAND, ME - Progressive local church First United Methodist of Portland announced that it would now be offering a mail-in attendance option for its...
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Education
· Sep 1, 2026
· 76
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam
MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...
Worldviews
· Sep 1, 2026
· 74
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism
HELL - The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the mo...
Politics
· Sep 1, 2026
· 68
Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner
U.S. - New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presi...
Health
· Sep 2, 2026
· 37
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression
BARAD-DÛR, MORDOR - Accused of attempting to enslave all the free peoples of Middle-earth and cover the land with darkness, the Dark Lord Sauron expla...
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Culture
· Aug 31, 2026
· 92
10 Notable Historical Events Experts Now Believe Were Caused By Postpartum Depression
Before the trial of Lindsay Clancy, everyone thought postpartum depression was a myth. But now society as a whole understands that the sudden drop in ...
World
· Sep 1, 2026
· 53
Suspicions Of Ayatollah's Death Rise After His Name Appears On California Voter Rolls
SACRAMENTO, CA - After months of speculation about Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei's health, suspicions of his demise arose once more after his name was di...
Headline Says It All
· Aug 31, 2026
· 82
Jury Still Trying To Decide If Strangling Your Kids Is Okay
PLYMOUTH, MA - After seventeen hours of deliberations over the span of three days, a jury was still struggling to decide whether murder is wrong.
Sports
· Sep 1, 2026
· 76
NFL Hoping A White Player Will Eventually Make It Into End Zone To See ‘End Racism’ Message
U.S. - The National Football League expressed hope that this would finally be the season when a white player would make it to the end zone and see the...
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· Aug 31, 2026
· 67
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
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· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
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· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
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· Aug 18, 2026
· 142
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