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Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20 - Article image
Scripture · Aug 7, 2026 · 52
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20

BETHSAIDA - Reports confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth had successfully fed a crowd of 5,000 men, plus women and children, using just five barley loaves...

Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face - Article image
Life · Aug 7, 2026 · 50
Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face

DALLAS, TX - Local husband Mark Higgins stood frozen in his kitchen Thursday morning, staring blankly at a glass jar labeled "Vanilla Honey Goat Butte...

Top 10 Reasons To Move To California - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California

With the population of California diminishing of late, we at The Babylon Bee are here to help turn the tide. Here are just ten of the many great reaso...
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around - Featured article image
Politics · Aug 7, 2026 · 57

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he ...

Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026 · 36
Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her

ROANOKE, VA - Upon seeing a middle-aged man join her line, local 16-year-old grocery cashier Mandy Banks began desperately hoping that he would try to...

Life · Aug 8, 2026 · 36
Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her

Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her - Featured article image
ROANOKE, VA - Upon seeing a middle-aged man join her line, local 16-year-old grocery cashier Mandy Banks began desperately hoping that he would try to...
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California

With the population of California diminishing of late, we at The Babylon Bee are here to help turn the tide. Here are just ten of the many great reaso...

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Lucky One Millionth Shopper At Mamdani's Grocery Store Finally Gets To Buy Food

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Jul 30, 2026 | SLinky PD


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Study Confirms Humanity Groaning With Longing For More 'Animaniacs' - Article image
Study Confirms Humanity Groaning With Longing For More 'Animaniacs'
Life · Aug 7, 2026 · 41
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20 - Article image
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20
Scripture · Aug 7, 2026 · 52
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles - Article image
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles
World · Aug 7, 2026 · 64
Chipotle Cashier Tells Customer There's An Extra Charge For No Salmonella - Article image
Chipotle Cashier Tells Customer There's An Extra Charge For No Salmonella
Health · Aug 6, 2026 · 36
SpaceX Crashes Rocket Into Hollywood Soundstage - Article image
SpaceX Crashes Rocket Into Hollywood Soundstage
Entertainment · Aug 6, 2026 · 51
Trump Solves Affordability Crisis By Opening Nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve - Article image
Trump Solves Affordability Crisis By Opening Nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve
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7 Hacks To Obtain A Burrito For Less Than $20 - Article image
Economy · Aug 6, 2026 · 96
7 Hacks To Obtain A Burrito For Less Than $20

Burritos are really, really expensive these days, apparently. But fear not - there are still ways to get them without having to shell out $20 a pop. Y...
Senate Joins Rest Of Nation In Holding Fauci In Contempt - Article image
U.S. · Aug 6, 2026 · 64
Senate Joins Rest Of Nation In Holding Fauci In Contempt

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A committee from the United States Senate announced today that they were finally joining the rest of the nation in holding Anthony ...
'There Aren't Bad Pets, Only Bad Owners,' Explains Woman Out Walking Velociraptor - Article image
Lifestyle · Aug 7, 2026 · 50
'There Aren't Bad Pets, Only Bad Owners,' Explains Woman Out Walking Velociraptor

SOUTH BEND, IN - The debate over dangerous pets heated up again after a woman took her pet velociraptor out for a walk and declared, "There aren't any...
Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet - Article image
Scripture · Aug 7, 2026 · 52
Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet

EDEN - Having gone an inordinate length of time standing watch in the same place for many, many years, the angel guarding the Garden of Eden with a fl...

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Tell Us What Kind Of Coffee Your Church Serves And We'll Tell You What Denomination You Are - Article image
Church · Aug 4, 2026 · 153
Tell Us What Kind Of Coffee Your Church Serves And We'll Tell You What Denomination You Are

All churches that truly love Jesus serve coffee, but did you know that you can actually tell what denomination a church is by what coffee it serves?
Due To Depleted Missile Supply, 'Operation Epic Fury' Downgraded To 'Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury' - Article image
U.S. · Aug 6, 2026 · 70
Due To Depleted Missile Supply, 'Operation Epic Fury' Downgraded To 'Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury'

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Due to a reportedly depleted supply of ballistic missiles following months of bombardment, military officials confirmed this week t...
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Family · May 19, 2026 · 59
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Scientists Theorize Existence Of Movie Not Starring Zendaya - Article image
Entertainment · Aug 6, 2026 · 55
Scientists Theorize Existence Of Movie Not Starring Zendaya

CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND - A team of leading physicists at the University of Cambridge theorized the existence of a motion picture that does not feature act...

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CNN Draws Largest Crowd In Years - Article image
U.S. · May 30, 2020 · 52
CNN Draws Largest Crowd In Years

ATLANTA, GA - CNN executives were baffled by a large crowd outside their offices and in their lobby Friday, not having seen an audience that size in m...
Liberals Run In Terror As Pride Flags Replaced With American Flags - Article image
Liberals Run In Terror As Pride Flags Replaced With American Flags
U.S. · Jul 1, 2022 · 134
Disney Wondering If It's Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey - Article image
Disney Wondering If It's Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey
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Biden Announces Economic Recovery For Tank Manufacturers - Article image
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Politics · Feb 14, 2022 · 98
The Somali Community Of Minnesota Would Like To Remind America That Today Is Tax Day - Article image
The Somali Community Of Minnesota Would Like To Remind America That Today Is Tax Day
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In Yet Another Cruel Blow To China, General Tso’s Chicken To Be Renamed ‘General Don's Oriental Chicky Nugs’ - Article image
In Yet Another Cruel Blow To China, General Tso’s Chicken To Be Renamed ‘General Don's Oriental Chicky Nugs’
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How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 72
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition

Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring? - Article image
Premium · May 25, 2026 · 40
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?

Hey, Bee family!
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...

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Groundbreaking New Study Finds Islamophobia May Be Partially Caused By Muslims Killing People All The Time - Article image
Groundbreaking New Study Finds Islamophobia May Be Partially Caused By Muslims Killing People All The Time
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