Fam, let's get real. You may be excited about Switch 2, but have you considered making the "Switch 2" Jesus?

Don't get me wrong. Switch 2 looks rad. It's got a new Mario Kart and magnetic joy-cons. That's totally cool. But you know what it doesn't have? Salvation.

I was out skateboarding yesterday, kicking some sweet flips, when I had a mind blowing realization. If you follow Jesus you get treasure in Heaven. And anything you get up there is going to be way better than Switch 2. So store up for yourselves game consoles in Heaven, where neither rust nor moth destroy and joysticks don't drift.

But let me be serious, Fam. Real life isn't a video game. If you die here, you die in real life. And if you didn't accept Jesus into your heart you'll be stuck playing the Atari of Hell instead of the far superior Nintendo Switch of Heaven. You follow me?

Besides, Switch 2 is 450 bucks and that's almost as bad as selling your soul to the devil. Jesus will give you all this and more — for free.

Just think about that as our band leads us in "Good Good Father."

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Travis continues his quest to interview everyone with beef's worst nightmare: Mikhaila Peterson