Amazon's new Lord of the Rings show, The Rings of Power, is breaking down intersectional barriers and preaching the virtues of diversity and inclusion, as all good fantasy does! If you don't support identity politics infiltrating a fantasy world with made-up races of people then YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
Here are ten inclusive characters featured in The Rings of Power.
Sylvester - An indigenous Eskimo elf who rebelled against his stodgy hetero parents to pursue his career of being a drag queen in a Minas Tirith nightclub.
Legless - A blonde elf warrior with one leg who bravely shows Middle-Earth that differently abled people can fight too!
Steve - No real intersectionality here. It's just Steve. Dang it, Steve!
Himli - She's a dwarf woman who identifies as a dwarf man. Who can tell the difference, anyway?
Obesimer - This 549lb warrior of Gondor proudly fights against body shaming, ableism, and heteronormativity while teaching others how to be healthy at every weight.
Shadowfaux - A goat who identifies as a beautiful, white horse who can show its rider the meaning of haste.
Tu'Car Karlsûn - This hateful bigoted orc from the deepest depths of Morgoth's spawning pits will not rest until he's radicalized all of Middle-Earth with his violent Mordorian Nationalist hate speech.
Duněld Trûmppins - A very ill-tempered little orange hobbit.
Gandalf The Gay - Just Gandalf, but he's really, really gay.
Saruwoman - A misunderstood black single mom who uses her girlboss magic to dismantle oppressive Gondor-normative systems of power in Middle Earth. Yass QUEEN!
If you don't love and celebrate all these characters immediately, you are a racist bigot! Enjoy the show!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
