World Economic Forum Introduces Pumpkin Spice Crickets
World · Sep 12, 2022 ·

GENEVA — In order to both prod the human population as a whole to sample alternative food sources as well as capitalize on the annual fall craze, officials at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland unveiled their plan to introduce new pumpkin spice-flavored crickets.

"We continue to believe the future of the human race depends on finding more sustainable — and not at all disgusting in any way — sources of food," said Gustaf Weisenheimer at a press conference announcing the new flavor. "And while crickets are wonderfully delicious by themselves, we wanted to do something very special for the fall season."

The announcement was met with a mixed response from the public. "I'm a nut for anything pumpkin spice-flavored," said full-time mother and part-time goat farmer Annie Lupascu, "but crickets? No. That's gross, no matter what spin you try to put on it." Others weren't entirely opposed to trying the new product. "Sure, I'll try some crickets," said Caitlin Anderson. "Honestly, I would probably eat a shoe if it was pumpkin spice-flavored."

There are rumors that this could be a sign of things to come. If the pumpkin spice flavor goes over well with consumers, the WEF has tentative plans to develop other popular cricket flavors, including cheddar & sour scream, flamin' hot, and cool ranch crickets.

At publishing time, officials were eagerly awaiting word regarding the public's response while simultaneously denying the allegations that they are actually producing crickets because they are the favorite food of a cabal of secret lizard people overlords ruling the world behind the scenes.

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