PROVO, UT — A local woman with five kids expressed worry this week that driving a minivan might make her look like a mom.

"I mean, I know I have a bunch of kids around me all the time and there is always a pile of bikes and toys in my front yard and the inside of my house looks like a constant explosion of clothes, toys, and dirty dishes... but a minivan? People might think I'm a mom or something," mom Kara Simpson said. "I am a mom, but a minivan might make me look more like one and I wouldn't want that."

Despite knowing all the conveniences of minivans, like automatic sliding doors and modular seating, Simpson opted to go for a giant SUV so no one would assume she had kids.

"No one will know I spend my days at PTA meetings and running kids around to piano lessons and sports activities if I'm driving a Suburban," she explained. "People with kids don't drive Suburbans. Only hip young people drive these eight-passenger land yachts."

At publishing time, Simpson was seen pulling into McDonald's at 2 P.M. and ordering a 30-piece chicken McNugget, five McFlurries, and a super-sized Diet Coke, which is also something young, cool, childless women do all the time.

BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW: