Woman Uses Airtight 'Judge Not' Defense To Beat Murder Case
U.S. · Sep 26, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

ORLANDO, FL - In the dramatic climax of the highly publicized trial surrounding the alleged murder of her husband, defendant Kelly Bidwell took the stand Monday and stunned the judge, district attorney, and jury by simply telling the court they have no right to judge her for her actions.

As the prosecuting attorney paced back and forth in front of the witness stand during cross examination, Bidwell remained stone-faced.

"As established during eyewitness testimony, your neighbors heard you scream out that you were going to kill your husband. Later on, they placed you at the scene dragging his body out to the dumpster," the attorney said pointedly, raising one eyebrow. "Is that true?"

"In the words of Jesus," Bidwell said calmly, "'Judge not.'"

The courtroom erupted in shock due to Bidwell's unexpected yet clever response, and it took Judge Martinez several minutes to restore order.

"Ms. Bidwell, would you please repeat your answer for the record?" the judge said as those gathered finally quieted.

"Yes, of course. I said, 'Judge not.' None of you hypocrites have the right to judge me for my actions on the night in question. Only God can judge me."

Knowing the trial was all but over, the district attorney indicated he had no further questions, and slumped back down in his seat.

The jury reached a unanimous decision of "not guilty" on all charges in less than ten minutes.

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