NEW YORK, NY — In honor of Women's History Month, a woman knelt down in front of a man to demonstrate subservience and submission. Witnesses described the historic event as "weird" and "an unusual way to promote the empowerment of women."
The incident took place on the set of The Drew Barrymore Show, as the show's eponymous host showed her feminine strength by kneeling down at the feet of famous male TikTok personality Dylan Mulvaney. "I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate Women's History Month," Barrymore said in a statement following the show. "When Dylan and I were on the stage together, it was important to illustrate which one of us belongs on their knees. Yay, women!"
Cultural commentators hailed this as a monumental moment in the female empowerment movement, ranking it among other great moments in women's history, such as Lia Thomas absolutely obliterating other competitors to win the NCAA Women's Swimming National Championship and other athletes who were born biological males completely manhandling their female opponents.
"This is indeed a great day for women," said Professor David Megli of the Institute for the Advancement of Women and People Who Say They Are Women. "There's nothing that shows how far women have come than seeing a female down on her knees in front of a man on national television!"
At publishing time, Barrymore was reportedly already brainstorming other ideas for future segments, including doing Mulvaney's laundry, cooking dinner, and asking Mulvaney to explain the complexities of football to her.
In this instructional video, Chinese soldiers are trained how to shout the wrong pronouns at American forces: