COLD LAKE, AB—The X-Men may need to finally update to a more inclusive title, now that one of their most popular (previously male) members identifies as a woman.
“I’ve always known something was different about me, Bub,” the mutant explained while delicately applying nail polish to his long, metallic claws. “Ever since I could remember, I’ve felt like a woman trapped in adamantium trapped in a mutant trapped in a man’s body.”
Unfortunately, the path to Wolverine’s new gender identity has been hairy, to say the least. After the most recent 17th attempt at trying to feminize the superhero’s physical appearance, surgeons have remained unsuccessful.
“His mutant healing factor alone presents incredible challenges when it comes to removing certain physical attributes, or adding implants,” said lead surgeon, Dr. Lee D’Serjin, “but then there’s the impenetrable adamantium skeleton that just makes it impossible!”
“I haven’t had a case this difficult since Wade Wilson claimed to identify as a ferret.”