U.S. — In light of the NBA's recent gambling scandal, WNBA players assured federal agents that they don't miss easy layups to throw games, they just suck at basketball.
Suspicion had arisen regarding the effort of WNBA players, with many people leveling accusations at them for trying to intentionally lose games as part of an alleged nationwide illegal gambling operation. A group of players met with FBI agents Thursday afternoon to vehemently deny such rumors, clarifying that they were just all really awful basketball players.
"I know it seems like a scam, but we're all just really, really bad at this game," said Chicago Sky star Angel Reese. "The truth is, we're just not that good at making the ball go into the little circle. We really are trying. It's just a lot harder than it looks."
According to insiders with knowledge of the federal investigation, the FBI was grateful for the WNBA's cooperation even though the organization was not on their radar. "I've never even heard of women's basketball," FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino said. "In fact, the whole league sounds like some sort of scam."
At publishing time, WNBA player Caitlin Clark was questioned under suspicion that she was being intentionally good at basketball as a way of swaying game outcomes in her favor. "It's very suspicious, like some sort of reverse throwing of the game," FBI Director Kash Patel said. "It's antithetical to everything the WNBA appears to stand for. Highly suspect."
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
