BREAKING — Authorities issued an urgent bulletin this morning, notifying the public to be aware that, due to this morning's widespread internet outage, your uncle had been forced to go door-to-door to share fake news.
Websites and popular applications had gone dark on Tuesday morning, as the large server provider and internet security company Cloudflare went down, leaving your uncle with no choice but to resort to traveling to individual houses and places of business to spread inaccurate news reports.
"Did you hear that India and Pakistan launched nuclear strikes at each other today?" your uncle was heard shouting at the home of total strangers down the street from your house. " I seen it! It's nuclear war. Probably World War 3 soon. It's all happening. It was on the computer this morning."
The public had been advised to be on the lookout for your uncle, as he was reported to be on the move and armed with numerous completely false news stories. "Trump is sending everyone checks for $5,000, just because he's nice," your uncle was overheard telling a grocery store cashier. "He said it to the media. I know because I saw it on Facebook. I was going to share it with everyone, but the internet went down. So I'm just going around making sure everyone knows."
At publishing time, authorities had grown concerned that the threat posed by the crisis had intensified after your uncle had reportedly shifted his focus to awesome baseball trades he heard were about to happen.
Congress is preparing to make some big changes!
