BAGHDAD — Following the death of former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, Iraqi government officials finally admitted they actually did have weapons of mass destruction this whole time.
"It is true," Iraqi Prime Minister Mohammed Shia al-Sudani told the press. "We have been having the weapons for all these many years. We were... how you say... just messing with you. Funny, yes?"
Cheney and then-President George W. Bush launched an invasion of Iraq in 2003 based in part on intel about the Saddam Hussein regime producing and stockpiling weapons of mass destruction in the country. An extensive investigation later turned up no evidence of WMDs, landing a blow to the credibility of the Bush administration.
Now, Iraqi officials said they had WMDs all along.
"Hahahahaha," Hassan continued. "We hid them underground and Saddam told us to keep telling the Americans there were none, and it worked! Those dummies. Now that Mr. Dick is dead, we can say they really do exist. We have so many. I'm not sure any of them work, and I think some are made of plaster and newspaper, but there they are. The joke is being on you, America."
At publishing time, Senator Lindsey Graham had called for an all-out military assault on Iraq.
What happens when a politically divided family sit down for a "peaceful" dinner?
