GYPSUM, CO — According to sources with insider knowledge of the Gurfneld couple's date night, wife Robin Gurfneld, after staring at her phone during the entire movie, claimed the movie's plot made no sense.
"I mean, it's obvious the plot was hard to follow, with both the cop guy and the robber guy," Robin was overheard saying while making her fourth Amazon purchase since the movie's opening scene. "Also the cop guy's wife's haircut was a total disaster."
When her husband, Daniel, reportedly reminded her of the 27-minute stretch in which she did not look up from her phone, Robin gently reminded him she was simply liking 33 Instagram posts, writing a low-key manifesto on Facebook concerning the dangers of pencil erasers in schools, and looking up movies to watch next weekend.
Also, it was during the boring part anyway.
At publishing time, Robin Gurfneld's husband had spent a half hour explaining the plot of the movie they had just watched only to realize she was on her phone again.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
