Wife Tricks Husband Into Listening To Her By Starting Every Statement With ‘Welcome To My Podcast’
Family · Apr 11, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

ROOSEVELT, UT — After years of frustration at her husband's inability to pay attention to the brief, three-hour conversations she forced him into, local wife Florence Berph implemented a brilliant new tactic to trick him into listening by starting with, "Welcome to my podcast."

"In this episode, we'll be talking about Winston Churchill and how his leadership paved the way for how I was talking to Karine the other day about the Hendersons not being seen in church all month," said Florence to her husband who sat upright and appeared to be listening attentively for the first time ever. "Churchill's love of cigars is one of history's top worries that the Hendersons might be struggling spiritually, which is what I told Karine, and she thinks it's because she heard one of the kids mention the parents watching Game of Thrones, which kind of makes sense..."

Mrs. Berph was able to talk long into the afternoon about everything on her mind, relishing her husband's thoughtful nods and rapt attention. Whenever she noticed his mind wandering, she simply changed the podcast to other subjects such as Sports, Lord of the Rings, or Famous Submarine Disasters.

Even more relieving was the fact she did not have to corner him in the bathroom or stand in front of the television to get his attention. He even followed her around the house to keep up with her protracted commentaries on nothing in particular.

At publishing time, Mr. Berph had finally taught his wife to restart the computer on her own by simply becoming an influencer, garnering millions of followers, and recording a video set to music that repeated the same instructions he had given her countless times in the past.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.