Wife Loots Target In Name Of Racial Justice, Still Somehow Spends $250
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MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Local woman Chloe Larson heard that there were protests going on in the name of racial justice. She wasn't really interested, though, until she heard that protesters were looting a local Target. Larson immediately jumped up and shouted "For George Floyd!" as she grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

Baffled sources confirmed that she still somehow managed to spend $250.

"I'm not sure this lady knows how looting works," said one Target employee. "Just out of habit, she came up to our last self-checkout machine that hadn't been smashed in and looted yet and happily spent $250 on her Target card. I tried to tell her everything was free today, but she didn't seem to hear. She said something about getting points on her Target app."

She also stopped at the in-store Starbucks and looted a Frappuccino, somehow spending $6.

Larson then stopped to loot a Hobby Lobby on the way home and managed to spend over $1,000, sources had confirmed at publishing time.

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