INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Local wife Marge Thompson was repulsed at the hideous sight of her husband's doughy, shaved face when he emerged from the bathroom after shaving his beard as she had requested.
"UGH! NO! ACK! Put it back on! Put your beard back on!" cried Mrs. Thomson, according to sources. "This was a mistake. You should've never shaved your beard. What were you thinking? That's not my husband's face. I can't even look at you!"
Mrs. Thompson then ran into the bathroom to throw up.
The husband, Paul, expressed his frustration, as his wife had been the one to ask him to get rid of his beard to begin with. "Honey, this is what you wanted! I tried to warn you!" he said. "I can't just put the beard back on! It took me, like, 3 years to grow it! I'm sorry!"
Sadly, Mrs. Thompson was unable to hear him as she was throwing up.
Experts say this occurs among thousands of married couples throughout the nation, and warn that men should never, ever, ever shave their beards, ever. "Don't ever do it," said one anonymous expert. "Your wife might never recover from her trauma."
At publishing time, the Thompsons' relationship had fallen into further turmoil after Paul failed to stop his wife from getting bangs.
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