White House Whistleblower Claims Strangers Drag Him From Place To Place And Make Him Sign Papers And Read Words On Monitors And He Hardly Gets Any Ice Cream
Politics · Oct 9, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. - CNN has just released a bombshell interview with an anonymous White House whistleblower, who gave a harrowing account that could spell trouble for the Biden administration.

Speaking with Jake Tapper, the whistleblower - who identifies as a "White House aide who is young, with no hair plugs or dentures and definitely not Joe Biden" - gave an account of brutal working conditions in the White House.

"Listen, folks, here's the deal," said the unidentified whistleblower through a distortion filter to protect his identity. "It stinks here, Jack! Strangers drag me from place to place and make me sign papers and read words on monitors and I hardly get any ice cream!"

"With so much to lose, why are you coming forward now?" asked Jake Tapper solemnly.

"Because it's the right thing to do, you lying dog-faced pony soldier!" said the mystery man whose face was shrouded in darkness. "No ice cream? Are you kidding me? It's inhumane! And I haven't sniffed hair in a week!" 

We reached out to President Biden for a response but were unsuccessful.  


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