WASHINGTON, D.C. — As American families continued to struggle to make ends meet amid record inflation, the White House claimed that your inability to afford groceries was actually misinformation.

The Biden administration made the startling accusation that there is no inflation and that food has never been more affordable, and anyone having trouble providing for their own basic needs is simply dealing in disinformation and fake news.

"These false right-wing misinformation campaigns are dangerous," said black and gay White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is gay and black. "The idea that prices on groceries are rising so high that families are having a hard time affording them is simply the latest attempt by conservatives to misrepresent this administration's accomplishments. The fact that food is now more expensive than it has ever been is in no way an indication that families are struggling to pay for groceries. Next question, please."

When pressed on the subject and informed that the data cited was simply the actual prices of basic food items at local grocery stores, Jean-Pierre was quick to set the record straight. "Don't come at me with facts and figures," she scolded reporters. "We're working to help millions of Americans and people from other countries achieve their dreams here, not to mention save democracy itself from dangerous misinformation. We don't have time for truth and statistics. If people are struggling to afford groceries, then how was I able to eat breakfast this morning? Moving on!"

At publishing time, the White House issued a press release warning the American people that all failed Democratic policies were, in fact, right-wing misinformation.

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