WASHINGTON, DC — On-court sources at the recent WNBA game between the Washington Mystics and the Indiana Fever say that the players were shocked to see such a large group of fans watching the game.
According to team managers, the players were first tipped off to the odd situation when the teams walked onto the court and were greeted by loud sounds of cheering and applause interspersed with shouts of "Go, Caitlin Clark!" The players were further mystified to see that nearly all of the spectators stayed to watch the entire game and even seemed to be interested.
"What's happening here? What's that unfamiliar noise?" asked Lavinia Sykes, a point guard for the Mystics. "Wait…are there actually fans here? But why? The stadium hasn't been this full since that one Taylor Swift concert. Weird."
In a post-game conference, Mystics head coach Eric Thibault said that he was proud of how his team had played under "unprecedentedly popular circumstances."
"This was far and away the largest group the team has ever played in front of," Thibault said. "I'm totally elated to see how well the girls responded."
At publishing time, Indiana Fever head coach Christie Sides had noted that there was nothing out of the ordinary about the game: "What do you mean? We see these numbers all the time!"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
