What Dads Get for Father's Day vs. What They Actually Want
Family · Jun 14, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

It can be difficult to find a good Father's Day gift for your dad. In order to help you this year, The Babylon Bee conducted extensive research and compiled the following list to help you understand common differences between what dads actually want and what they usually end up getting:

What Dad Gets: A new set of power tools

What Dad Wants: Mom to stop coming up with new home-improvement projects

What Dad Gets: Socks

What Dad Wants: An armed and fully functional World War II-era battleship

What Dad Gets: A Father's Day card

What Dad Wants: A Father's Day car

What Dad Gets: A biography of Julius Caesar

What Dad Wants: To be Julius Caesar

What Dad Gets: A generic "Best Dad Ever" t-shirt from some random place

What Dad Wants: A based "Dad Is the Best" t-shirt from The Babylon Bee

What Dad Gets: A bacon-themed necktie

What Dad Wants: Bacon

What Dad Gets: Shaving kit

What Dad Wants: A full pirate beard

What Dad Gets: A set of grilling tongs and spatula

What Dad Wants: A mysterious wizard to knock on the door and recruit him to go on an adventure to retrieve the red crystal and save the world

What Dad Gets: A baseball cap with all the kids' faces on it

What Dad Wants: A full suit of Roman legionary armor

What Dad Gets: A Top Golf gift card

What He Wants: An 850-acre ranch in Montana

What Dad Gets: A subscription to The Onion

What He Wants: A subscription to The Babylon Bee

What Dad Gets: Breakfast in bed

What He Wants: Breakfast in bed on a 19th-century British warship during the Napoleonic Wars

Hopefully, this will help give you a window into your dad's mind. Now be a good kid and go get him that battleship.

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