Wendy’s Is Fine, Nation Agrees
Life · Mar 25, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

In a new survey released by the National Association of Fast Food Preferences Foundation, American citizens overwhelmingly agree that Wendy's is fine, they guess.

"Respondents said when no other fast food options were present, they mostly agreed Wendy's was probably a decent choice. Whatever," NAFFPF Spokesman Brent Capson said. "When subpar choices were offered, like, say, Jack in The Box or Carl's Jr., Wendy's ranked high on the ‘ok let's just do Wendy's then' scale."

From the millions of Americans who took the test, most agreed Wendy's has "pretty good fries" and "Frosties are ok not as good as a McFlurry but better than whatever abomination Taco Bell is trying to pass off as a dessert at the moment."

"When asked what their favorite Wendy's menu item was, most had difficulty naming a specific offering. Most respondents said 'Um, a burger, I guess.'" Capson continued, "We only had 15 people name The Baconator by name, and only 2 out of millions know what a Son of a Baconator is."

As of publishing time, Wendy's had issued a statement thanking Americans for remembering they exist and offering a month-long special on chicken McNuggets, or whatever it is Wendy's calls them.


Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

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