MENLO PARK, CA - A recent update to Google's objective, fair, and non-evil search algorithm has a few users concerned, particularly in regards to searches related to our benevolent President Joe Biden.
Clair Claireborne, a stay-at-home planetary physicist with an armchair interest in politics, heard that another member of her local cookbook club was disappointed in the Biden Administration. Having heard nothing negative herself regarding the President's tenure so far, she decided to search Google for the phrase, "problems with Biden Administration."
For the first time in her memory, Claireborne's Google search was met with a screen bereft of any results, only white pixels staring back at her.
"Frankly, I was shocked," said Claireborne. She explained how she had always relied on Google to guide her toward answers to important questions like how to construct an atlatl, the lifecycle of a pinworm, or whether Nancy Pelosi's net worth is really over $100 Million. (It is.)
After receiving feedback from millions of users, Google released a patch to help resolve the confusion. Now, searching any phrase that assumes negativity toward Biden displays search results from verified fact-checking sites like Snopes, as well as the helpful suggestion, "Did you mean: "Tell me why the January 6th terrorist insurrection coup was so egregious"?
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
