AUSTIN, TX—According to reports, Thomas Carrier, proprietor of the Christian Sentry blog, came to the conclusion Friday that he was pretty much the only Christian left on the planet.
“You know, I look around and all I see is hypocrisy,” Carrier lamented. “I’ve concluded I must be the only Christian left. The remnant, if you will—I’m quite certain of it. No one else measures up.”
“I’ve tried going to a bunch of different churches, but they’re never pure. I feel kind of like the prophet Elijah,” he added.
Carrier, who has maintained his blog for the past five years, has taken on a wide variety of people, including but not limited to: the left, the right, Mark Driscoll, the Pope, the Pope’s mother, his own mother, Hollywood, John Piper, Ashton Kutcher, and Michael W. Smith.
In a recent post on the Christian Sentry titled The Terrible Hypocrisy Of John Calvin, he stated:
Let me be clear: John Calvin was NOT a good Calvinist. He was a soft-hearted hypocrite who didn’t have a firm handle on the truth. I would never have stayed in his church, and I can’t understand why anyone else did.
In another post, titled The Terrible Hypocrisy Of Michael W. Smith, he stated:
Smith has SOLD OUT. If you have followed his career, you can see that he abandoned the truth after the Picture Perfect album. He is now worse than a tax collector or Gentile. I mean he is a Gentile, but he’s also worse than one.
Sources confirmed that approximately 85% of Carrier’s blog post titles contain the phrase “Terrible Hypocrisy”.
“It’s difficult being a modern prophet,” said Carrier. “I don’t really have any friends. I can’t keep a job and still maintain this blog. But I trust the Lord to take care of his only servant.”
At press time, Carrier was wrapping up a Kickstarter campaign in which he raised $14.27 for his blog ministry.